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Back One White Lie Save as PDF
Chapters (59)
  1. COVER
  2. About the Author
  3. DEDICATION
  4. ONE
  5. TWO
  6. THREE
  7. FOUR
  8. FIVE
  9. SIX
  10. SEVEN
  11. EIGHT
  12. NINE
  13. TEN
  14. ELEVEN
  15. TWELVE
  16. THIRTEEN
  17. FOURTEEN
  18. FIFTEEN
  19. SIXTEEN
  20. SEVENTEEN
  21. EIGHTEEN
  22. NINETEEN
  23. TWENTY
  24. TWENTY-ONE
  25. TWENTY-TWO
  26. TWENTY-THREE
  27. TWENTY-FOUR
  28. TWENTY-FIVE
  29. TWENTY-SIX
  30. TWENTY-SEVEN
  31. TWENTY-EIGHT
  32. TWENTY-NINE
  33. THIRTY
  34. THIRTY-ONE
  35. THIRTY-TWO
  36. THIRTY-THREE
  37. THIRTY-FOUR
  38. THIRTY-FIVE
  39. THIRTY-SIX
  40. THIRTY-SEVEN
  41. THIRTY-EIGHT
  42. THIRTY-NINE
  43. FORTY
  44. FORTY-ONE
  45. FORTY-TWO
  46. FORTY-THREE
  47. FORTY-FOUR
  48. FORTY-FIVE
  49. FORTY-SIX
  50. FORTY-SEVEN
  51. FORTY-EIGHT
  52. FORTY-NINE
  53. FIFTY
  54. FIFTY-ONE
  55. FIFTY-TWO
  56. FIFTY-THREE
  57. FIFTY-FOUR
  58. Acknowledgments
  59. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

Tears spilled from her eyes, and I reached out to hug her, but she shook me off. ‘You don’t understand. I found out I was pregnant last spring, but we never – I never even thought of – god, he’s so old. It was this guy I met at a party in Poughkeepsie. I didn’t even know his last name. I was too afraid to tell my parents, and I didn’t have the money.’

I jolted, and even Dusty, sensing my shock, began to paw at his crate again.

‘What are you saying?’ I asked.

‘I’m saying it wasn’t John’s. That’s gross.’

It was the way she said it, that teenage way of cutting straight to the point, not holding back.

‘You swear?’ I asked. ‘You don’t have to –’

‘I swear,’ Claire said. ‘John tried to get me to talk to my parents and my friends, but he didn’t get it. It was so embarrassing. The guy said he was going to call me, and he never did. I didn’t even have his number to call him and tell him what happened. I’d put mine in his phone, and he never texted after – anything. And we used protection – I’m not stupid – I just, something must have gone wrong.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I didn’t have the money, and so John paid for it, and he drove me to the clinic the day I had to go. He said, he said that someone had come to him in trouble before, and he hadn’t helped her. He said he wanted to help me.’

Like a shot to the heart, I remembered. John had felt guilty about pressuring Vera to continue the pregnancy.

I should have driven Vera to the clinic, held her hand, respected what she wanted.

My god, I thought. John had been good after all. He wasn’t perfect, he never should have kissed me, but he had been trying to do the right thing. He hadn’t deserved to die. Fuck. He’d wanted to help her, this girl who looked up to him as an artist and pseudo–father figure, nothing else. He’d been stupid enough to think that people would understand.

If the truth had only come out – god, it was too awful to think. None of this would have happened. No threats from Sam Alby. No impending lawsuit. No hike, no lies to the police. Vera would never have killed him – she loved him, in her twisted way – and more than that, I would never have had to do what I did.

I would never have had to kill her. To take the life of my best friend.

My heart ached at all that had been lost, all for nothing.