Chapters (59)
- COVER
- About the Author
- DEDICATION
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- THIRTY-FOUR
- THIRTY-FIVE
- THIRTY-SIX
- THIRTY-SEVEN
- THIRTY-EIGHT
- THIRTY-NINE
- FORTY
- FORTY-ONE
- FORTY-TWO
- FORTY-THREE
- FORTY-FOUR
- FORTY-FIVE
- FORTY-SIX
- FORTY-SEVEN
- FORTY-EIGHT
- FORTY-NINE
- FIFTY
- FIFTY-ONE
- FIFTY-TWO
- FIFTY-THREE
- FIFTY-FOUR
- Acknowledgments
- THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING
I returned to the living room, locked the front door, and checked it twice. It didn’t close properly unless you bolted it; I knew that, which is why I always did – no matter what.
Grabbing my notebook, I checked every item in the house against my ever-changing inventory, as I had every day since I’d gotten here, but nothing was out of place. I must have forgotten to lock the door; it was the only logical explanation.
Forcing myself to breathe, I brushed my teeth, topped off Dusty’s food, drank more water, and sank into bed, but the thoughts were insistent: I couldn’t do this alone; I couldn’t be here without them. She’d told me I wouldn’t have to. She’d told me they would protect me. I had promised myself I wasn’t going to be stupid, I wasn’t going to trust where I shouldn’t, but they had convinced me to let my guard down, and now look how that had turned out.
They were my family, what I’d been seeking for so very long.
In a way, it felt like I’d already lost them.
TWELVE
Vera came two days later, in the afternoon.
I ushered her in without exchanging any pleasantries, my relief at seeing her muddled with anger, deep in my chest, at what they’d said, the way they’d said it.
She took a seat on my sofa, looking downright bashful, her hands folded in her lap, her face flushed. Dusty jumped up, and she nuzzled him briefly. She cleared her throat, and I took the seat opposite her. ‘I’ll get right to it: I really am sorry,’ she said. ‘For springing all of that on you the other night.’
I picked at a loose thread on the knee of my jeans. ‘It was strange not seeing you guys for a couple of days,’ I said, without looking up. ‘I didn’t realize what a rut we’d gotten into.’
I’d meant to say routine, but rut had come out instead. I wanted to hurt her, I supposed, for tipping the scales we’d balanced so well, for reminding me I couldn’t count on anyone.
She didn’t take the bait. ‘I wanted to give you space.’
I shrugged. ‘Okay.’
Vera tugged at the sleeves of her top – all black, as usual, and nearly sheer. ‘You didn’t call me, either, you know. I figured you didn’t want to talk after you ran out like that.’
‘I didn’t run out,’ I said, averting my eyes as my voice cracked. ‘It was late. I was tired.’
She abandoned her place on the sofa and sat next to me instead, hooking her arm around my shoulders. I didn’t shrug her off; it felt so good to have her near me.