Back One White Lie Save as PDF
Chapters (59)
  1. COVER
  2. About the Author
  3. DEDICATION
  4. ONE
  5. TWO
  6. THREE
  7. FOUR
  8. FIVE
  9. SIX
  10. SEVEN
  11. EIGHT
  12. NINE
  13. TEN
  14. ELEVEN
  15. TWELVE
  16. THIRTEEN
  17. FOURTEEN
  18. FIFTEEN
  19. SIXTEEN
  20. SEVENTEEN
  21. EIGHTEEN
  22. NINETEEN
  23. TWENTY
  24. TWENTY-ONE
  25. TWENTY-TWO
  26. TWENTY-THREE
  27. TWENTY-FOUR
  28. TWENTY-FIVE
  29. TWENTY-SIX
  30. TWENTY-SEVEN
  31. TWENTY-EIGHT
  32. TWENTY-NINE
  33. THIRTY
  34. THIRTY-ONE
  35. THIRTY-TWO
  36. THIRTY-THREE
  37. THIRTY-FOUR
  38. THIRTY-FIVE
  39. THIRTY-SIX
  40. THIRTY-SEVEN
  41. THIRTY-EIGHT
  42. THIRTY-NINE
  43. FORTY
  44. FORTY-ONE
  45. FORTY-TWO
  46. FORTY-THREE
  47. FORTY-FOUR
  48. FORTY-FIVE
  49. FORTY-SIX
  50. FORTY-SEVEN
  51. FORTY-EIGHT
  52. FORTY-NINE
  53. FIFTY
  54. FIFTY-ONE
  55. FIFTY-TWO
  56. FIFTY-THREE
  57. FIFTY-FOUR
  58. Acknowledgments
  59. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

I returned to the living room, locked the front door, and checked it twice. It didn’t close properly unless you bolted it; I knew that, which is why I always did – no matter what.

Grabbing my notebook, I checked every item in the house against my ever-changing inventory, as I had every day since I’d gotten here, but nothing was out of place. I must have forgotten to lock the door; it was the only logical explanation.

Forcing myself to breathe, I brushed my teeth, topped off Dusty’s food, drank more water, and sank into bed, but the thoughts were insistent: I couldn’t do this alone; I couldn’t be here without them. She’d told me I wouldn’t have to. She’d told me they would protect me. I had promised myself I wasn’t going to be stupid, I wasn’t going to trust where I shouldn’t, but they had convinced me to let my guard down, and now look how that had turned out.

They were my family, what I’d been seeking for so very long.

In a way, it felt like I’d already lost them.

Penguin walking logo

TWELVE

Vera came two days later, in the afternoon.

I ushered her in without exchanging any pleasantries, my relief at seeing her muddled with anger, deep in my chest, at what they’d said, the way they’d said it.

She took a seat on my sofa, looking downright bashful, her hands folded in her lap, her face flushed. Dusty jumped up, and she nuzzled him briefly. She cleared her throat, and I took the seat opposite her. ‘I’ll get right to it: I really am sorry,’ she said. ‘For springing all of that on you the other night.’

I picked at a loose thread on the knee of my jeans. ‘It was strange not seeing you guys for a couple of days,’ I said, without looking up. ‘I didn’t realize what a rut we’d gotten into.’

I’d meant to say routine, but rut had come out instead. I wanted to hurt her, I supposed, for tipping the scales we’d balanced so well, for reminding me I couldn’t count on anyone.

She didn’t take the bait. ‘I wanted to give you space.’

I shrugged. ‘Okay.’

Vera tugged at the sleeves of her top – all black, as usual, and nearly sheer. ‘You didn’t call me, either, you know. I figured you didn’t want to talk after you ran out like that.’

‘I didn’t run out,’ I said, averting my eyes as my voice cracked. ‘It was late. I was tired.’

She abandoned her place on the sofa and sat next to me instead, hooking her arm around my shoulders. I didn’t shrug her off; it felt so good to have her near me.