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Back One White Lie Save as PDF
Chapters (59)
  1. COVER
  2. About the Author
  3. DEDICATION
  4. ONE
  5. TWO
  6. THREE
  7. FOUR
  8. FIVE
  9. SIX
  10. SEVEN
  11. EIGHT
  12. NINE
  13. TEN
  14. ELEVEN
  15. TWELVE
  16. THIRTEEN
  17. FOURTEEN
  18. FIFTEEN
  19. SIXTEEN
  20. SEVENTEEN
  21. EIGHTEEN
  22. NINETEEN
  23. TWENTY
  24. TWENTY-ONE
  25. TWENTY-TWO
  26. TWENTY-THREE
  27. TWENTY-FOUR
  28. TWENTY-FIVE
  29. TWENTY-SIX
  30. TWENTY-SEVEN
  31. TWENTY-EIGHT
  32. TWENTY-NINE
  33. THIRTY
  34. THIRTY-ONE
  35. THIRTY-TWO
  36. THIRTY-THREE
  37. THIRTY-FOUR
  38. THIRTY-FIVE
  39. THIRTY-SIX
  40. THIRTY-SEVEN
  41. THIRTY-EIGHT
  42. THIRTY-NINE
  43. FORTY
  44. FORTY-ONE
  45. FORTY-TWO
  46. FORTY-THREE
  47. FORTY-FOUR
  48. FORTY-FIVE
  49. FORTY-SIX
  50. FORTY-SEVEN
  51. FORTY-EIGHT
  52. FORTY-NINE
  53. FIFTY
  54. FIFTY-ONE
  55. FIFTY-TWO
  56. FIFTY-THREE
  57. FIFTY-FOUR
  58. Acknowledgments
  59. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

Once I was bundled up and we were outside, Dusty pulled me toward the mailbox, one of his favorite places to pee. The box was overflowing – I’d been bad about checking since Vera’s death. As Dusty lifted his leg, marking the post, I grabbed the mess of mail, walked to my car, and tossed it on the passenger seat.

Secured in his crate, Dusty didn’t whine quite so much as we wound toward town – he was getting used to the car, which was good. Though I hadn’t figured out exactly what my next step was – go to L.A., where I still had an old friend from college, even though I hadn’t talked to her in years; head back to Brooklyn, where it would be easy for me to get work, hoping and praying that Davis was finally done with me; or simply find somewhere new on the map – there would be plenty of driving ahead of us.

As I turned left, toward downtown Woodstock, I could hardly believe I was staying another month. Rachel had been the one to suggest it, when she’d called me yesterday to invite me over and I’d opened up about the fact that I didn’t know what to do – where to go next. Just give yourself time, she’d said. It’s easier to leave than it is to come back.

Maybe she was right – or maybe I was just afraid to go, leave Vera and John, whom I’d been so wrong about but had loved all the same, completely behind.

As I drove, I tried to focus on the afternoon sunshine, glistening against the snow, but all I could see was her face. Vera lived in my mind now. That shard of glass in the back of her neck. Red blood pooling on white tile. The way I’d broken her for good.

She was a monster, I told myself. Had told myself over and over again, every waking moment for the past week. She was a monster who had deserved to die – who’d murdered her own husband.

I hadn’t killed an innocent woman. I’d killed a killer.

Dusty whined, as if sensing my misery.

I’d killed a killer, I told myself again. Some days, it was the only thought that kept me going, kept me from returning to the hike, jumping off the cliff myself, and letting the water break me, too.

Penguin walking logo

FORTY-NINE

‘I need to talk to you.’

I jumped, banging my head on the frame of the car, which I’d parked in front of Schoolhouse before dropping off my rent check. Quickly, I secured Dusty back into his crate, then turned to see Claire, her cheeks red from the cold, wearing no more than a light sweater, her half apron from the restaurant, and jeans. ‘What are you doing out here?’ I asked. ‘You’re bound to freeze.’