He sighed, disappointed, like my dad after I lost it on my piano teacher, leaving me no choice but to quit my lessons. Like my dad, so many times.

I expected better of you.

‘We’re still exploring all avenues,’ McKnight said.

Then, without another word, he grabbed his bags, the woman stopped the camera, and they walked out of my house.

THIRTY

Heart racing, I stared at the floorboard beneath my bed. It remained hammered down, just as I’d left it. I momentarily considered reopening it, just to make sure, but before I could, I heard three quick raps at my door.

Through the drapes, I saw Vera, standing on my porch.

I opened the door and ushered her in, a burst of cold following behind her.

Her coat hung open, and she was in the same dress she’d worn at the memorial, but a run in one knee of her tights exposed pale flesh. Her topknot had come undone, and her hair bent every which way from the hair spray – contortionist hair. ‘What happened?’ she asked, her lips pressing into a thin line. ‘You just … disappeared.’

‘I’m sorry,’ I said. The memorial felt a million miles away, but I tried to stay calm, act normal. I needed her on my side now more than ever. ‘It was too much, being there, with my parents and everything. It was overwhelming.’

‘I know,’ Vera said. ‘But why did you run out after Claire Alby, of all people? Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?’

Dusty reached for Vera’s legs, pawing at her tights, but she ignored him, and he hopped onto the sofa instead.

I swallowed, my throat tightening. ‘I know her from Schoolhouse; I go there for brunch sometimes. She said she wanted to be a writer. We would talk.’

Vera’s eyebrows arched. ‘What are you, her mentor? That didn’t work out too well for John.’

‘No,’ I said. I had to get us back on solid ground. There was so much that threatened to tear us apart now – and I knew the police could show her that photo of me in bed at any time.

I took a deep breath. ‘I didn’t even know she was Claire until today. She told me her name was Al, which I should have put together, but I didn’t. You have to believe me, Vera. I promise.’

She opened her mouth to argue, then shut it tight, as if she no longer had the energy. Her eyes darted around the room. ‘So the police searched your house?’

I nodded.

‘Mine too,’ she said, tugging at the hem of her dress. ‘On the day of the goddamn memorial.’

‘Jesus,’ I said. ‘Really?’

‘“We only want to find out what happened.”’ She mimicked an officer’s voice, dripping with fake compassion. ‘That’s what they say to make themselves feel better. They couldn’t show some respect. Not at the expense of the investigation.’