About The CFBC club

First things first, we are a club exclusively for women who choose not to have children. Please do not get this confused with women who are struggling with fertility or can’t have children. Those women are of course welcome here (we welcome you!!). But the focus of this group is for women who fundamentally do not want to live a life with children, so they can share, discuss, find like-minded friends and most importantly, not be judged. When getting in touch with us, please make sure you check your terminology. Child-less is suggesting that something has been taken away. No. Child-free is who we are. We are all free to make our own choices in the world. We look forward to hearing from you.

I click open on the ‘contact’ section of the website and notice that Iris lives near Islington in London, not that far from me. Iris is nearly fifty and passionate about women feeling that their lives can be extremely whole, without kids, at any age. Her bio really highlights how much she absolutely loves her colourful, rich, sexy, adventurous life. Fair play, Iris.

In the contact section there are also links to helplines that could help women who are child-free not by choice, explaining perhaps that this might not be the group for them and suggesting other groups that might be more appropriate.

My eyes light up reading something so resonant. A group for women who simply choose not to have children, and are totally OK with it. As they should be!

I open up a new email from my personal email address.

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: CFBC Query

Hello Iris,

I have been doing some late-night Googling, wondering if I am alone in my feelings of not wanting children. I can’t tell you how relieved I felt stumbling across the CFBC! I was wondering if you had any space for a newbie, and how I can sign up. I’d love to come along to the next event if you’ll have me!

Best wishes,

Olive

I throw back the last dregs of rosé and call it a night. I unplug my phone charger and put it into my tote bag, and swap my heeled boots for my old trainers. I go to message the girls to see what they’re up to this weekend and, as I reach for my phone, I notice the ping sound of a new email:

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE: CFBC Query

Hi Olive,

How are you? Lovely to hear from you. You caught me just at the right time, I only check my emails once a day!

Things are very busy for me at the moment – well they always seem to be these days! I’m doing all sorts of projects, a new yoga school, an art exhibition that needs finalizing and my new boyfriend is in town ;) Life has never been better!!!! ;-)

So glad you want to come along to a gathering. The Child-Free By Choice (CFBC) open-mic night is at the Book Club in Shoreditch. Please don’t share the address with anyone else – but of course feel free to bring a friend or plus-one. I know it can be quite nerve-wracking coming to these sorts of things on your own, but I promise you everyone is super-nice and I will be there to make sure you are OK! We offer a nice safe space where we can all share our stories together, judgement-free. You could even do a reading if you want?