At the bottom of the scan is Cec’s handwriting. It reads: ‘Will you be my godmother?’

‘I’m sorry I didn’t ask you guys the first time round, you know, with Osc. I was totally overwhelmed and had a lot of postpartum stuff going on, I just wasn’t thinking about anything like that. I was feeling too sad and scared,’ Cec says.

‘Oh Cec, we totally get it – this is so lovely!’ Bea says, practically hugging the piece of the paper.

‘Isla, I hope you don’t mind me doing this, I just … I didn’t want to be weird … I love you and want you to be involved, if you want to, that is,’ Cec says, feeling nervous, biting her lip a bit.

‘Oh Cec.’ Isla moves to sit right beside her. ‘You’re so sweet for saying that. I am OK! I really am, we don’t need to tiptoe around it any more, I promise.’

None of us knows quite what to say yet, so we wait for Isla to continue.

‘I still have my moments when I feel sad about it all, but honestly, I am genuinely making peace with it. It’s not that I feel I “have” to get over it, it’s just that I know it sounds weird, but I don’t have the same urge as I did. As you know, I’ve just opened my new practice, work is better than ever, Mike is happy too – we are happy, we are OK with how our future is looking, even if it’s not the one I expected.’ Isla puts her hand on top of Cec’s.

‘That is wonderful, Isla,’ Bea says.

‘It’s funny how things change, isn’t it? I’m happy and feel like I might want different things now. And anyway, down the line, if I do still want a family, I could always consider adopting.’

‘I am so glad to hear that, Isla,’ Cec says, as if the words ‘phew’ were written on her forehead. ‘She is so lucky to have you as a godmother.’

‘She? A girl! Oh Cec, I am so excited to meet her,’ Isla says, kissing Cec on the cheek. ‘Thank you guys for getting me through those horrible few years. I couldn’t have managed without you. I’m so glad to be out the other side now.’

‘Of course, Isla. Thank you, guys, for being there,’ Cec says, to all of us. ‘Being pregnant feels … different this time round.’

‘Enjoy it, Cec, they grow up so quickly. Mine hardly need me any more,’ Bea says laughing, clearly enjoying her own new phase of motherhood.

‘We’ve all come a long way, haven’t we?’ I say, holding my three best friends as tightly as I can.

There are things we can choose – and things that we can’t. But one thing is for sure: I choose these friends. Over and over again.

Acknowledgements

You know what they say about novels. It takes a village.

The biggest thank you to the team at HarperCollins. Kimberley Young, for seeing something in my first draft. Charlotte Brabbin, for inspiring me to go that little bit further with each edit. To the best Marketing and PR squad in the biz: Sarah Shea, Fliss Denham and Liz Dawson. To Ellie Game for creating one of the most beautiful covers I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe it gets to be mine.