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My phone beeps, interrupting my flow. It’s Cec sending me a pic of Oscar with the caption: ‘We just had a poo-nami.’ I shudder.
It’s the first peep I’ve heard from Cec in weeks, but I need to get into my stride with this article. Focus, Olive. I Google: ‘Why am I not feeling broody?’ No harm in mixing my personal interests with the professional. I look over my shoulder to check no one is watching me.
Over two million results suddenly pop up on the screen.
An article comes up from an online magazine listing ‘9 signs you’re feeling broody!!!!’ The website doesn’t look very legit, but I’m intrigued all the same.
• You romanticize the idea of morning sickness (hell no)
• You feel your ovaries twitch whenever you see anything really cute (no)
• You are jealous whenever someone posts a pregnancy bump on Instagram (nope)
• You’ve often stood sideways in the mirror and imagined a bump (lol no)
• You’ve often put a pillow up your T-shirt to imagine a bump (wtf no)
• You randomly find yourself going into Mothercare and look at/touch baby clothes even though you’re not pregnant yet (no, what’s wrong with people please?)
• You love holding your friends’ babies (it’s OK, but no, not really)
• You write down baby names in your notepad (no)
• You absolutely love the show One Born Every Minute (hmm, no.)
I look around at the party atmosphere in the office. Colin is doing a samba routine with Julie, the head of design at .dot. Julie has her hands on Colin’s shoulders, and Colin has one leg back, like he is doing a lunge. ‘I Like It’ by Cardi B is blasting out of the radio.
‘What are you two doing?’ I shout across the office. ‘Some people are still trying to finish their work for the day!’
‘Julie’s got a date tonight,’ Colin says, mid-step and a bit breathless, ‘so I’m teaching her some new moves.’ She steps on his foot and they burst out laughing.
Next to these two jokers, a meeting is trying to happen on beanbags on the floor, and someone else is shouting over the music about cover lines.
‘Can everyone be a little quieter? It’s like a zoo in here,’ I say.
‘Agreed,’ says Jason, one of the lead editors who looks stressed out.
Yes, everyone is a bit annoying and I have to tell them to shut up, but deep down I do still find the madness really comforting. It’s my second home here at .dot.
Ping. My internal thought-bubble bursts as I see an email flash up on my desktop from Gill. I’ve set them to ‘high priority’ and they make a horrible noise that actually makes me jump.
From: [email protected]
Subject: YOUR ASSIGNMENT
All right Ol.
Re that Millennial article you’re writing … here’s something that might be interesting to investigate and add into it.
Have you heard of The Moth? It’s a non-profit storytelling night based in New York. Well, there’s a Moth-inspired (not actually The Moth) evening – ANYWAY it’s an open-mic night happening on Tuesday night in Shoreditch for ‘childless women’. I think it could be useful for your article. It’s called the CFBC ‘Child-Free By Choice club’. Interesting, eh???