‘How are you feeling today?’ I ask her gently, as I waft out an old picnic blanket for us to sit on. It feels like a while since we’ve sat down, just the two of us. She looks sad, as though she needs a chat. And I feel deflated from thinking about my lonely cat-lady future. I don’t even like cats, I am totally screwed.

‘Not good, to be honest, Ol,’ Isla says, noticing me sizing her up. She looks pale and her posture is awful. ‘I’ll tell you in a sec. Pass me one of those fake beers, will you, please?’ She gets herself comfy and crosses her legs. ‘God I wish I could just have a glass of wine, but my doctor would kill me.’

I pour my wine and her beer into plastic cups, splashing the drinks slightly onto my jeans.

‘I feel awful. This is the first time I’ve been outside in days.’ Isla puts her sunglasses on. Same here, I think. For different reasons, but hey. I try to quieten the anxious thoughts that are fighting for room in my own head. Isla will be my sounding board, but for now she needs to offload.

‘We don’t have to stay out very long if you don’t want to,’ I say.

‘Thanks,’ she takes a sip from her plastic cup. ‘So, I’m about to start IVF round two soon, but I have to wait and I don’t know how long for. The question is: can I handle the strain on my mental health, my body, the unknown, the potential disappointment again?’ She lies down on her side, sighing, taking another sip of her drink. ‘The amount of people who are telling me to “think positive”. I want to punch them all.’

‘Oh Christ, poor you. Here, take this.’ I give her a small pillow I packed in my bag.

‘You’re so sweet, Ol. Thank you.’

‘So what happens now?’

‘I have to wait a couple of months, have two normal periods before trying again. I guess I feel stupid for thinking it might happen during the first round.’

‘Oh, you’re not stupid.’ I lean across and hug her. But I feel so conscious of not holding her too tightly, scared to hurt her more, like she has a ‘fragile: handle with care’ label on her body.

‘And if that’s not shit enough,’ she starts saying after we pull away from the hug, ‘it is hurting so much to have sex with Mike. He’s being so good and nice about it all, but it’s kind of affecting our relationship. He knows it’s not him and I still fancy him and everything, but it’s just super-frustrating. It was our anniversary the other day and it just ended up with me crying endlessly and him lying there until I fell asleep. I’m just so exhausted. All the time!’

‘You poor thing.’

‘Sex has sort of weirdly changed a bit for me now, because of all this,’ Isla says. ‘So much pressure.’