So, there we were, marking a real milestone together. Me celebrating – Bea commiserating.

I drunkenly called Cecily on the way home, around 11 p.m., from the night bus. I got off a few stops early so I could get some fresh air. Cec always worked super-late, as a paralegal, so I knew she’d be up reading through a pile of documents that her boss couldn’t be bothered to read. Sirens seem to blast past me every ten minutes. Motorbike engines pierced my eardrums. I sat inside a bus shelter to get away from the noise and replayed the whole ordeal to her, my leather jacket perched on my shoulders, with a cigarette in my hand. I was a bit drunk and I realized too late into the conversation that I was being a bit bitchy.

‘I mean thank god my test was negative, Cec. And Bea being pregnant would be so weird, it’s too early! But she did look very gutted though,’ I said, exhaling smoke. I suddenly felt guilty, remembering the intense disappointment on Bea’s face.

‘Well, I think Bea and Jeremy have mentioned wanting kids one day, but yeah, I agree that it’s very early …’ Cec replied. It sounded echoey where she was; clearly her office was pretty empty as it was so late.

‘Yeah. I guess I just assumed we’d both be freaking out. We were both so nervous buying the pregnancy tests because, you know, it was an accident. Well, at least for me? So I was totally taken aback when she looked upset at it coming out negative.’

‘Wow,’ Cec gasped, joining in. ‘I suppose I’d be shocked too. It’s a huge change and responsibility.’

‘We’re only twenty-two,’ I said, tapping ash on the floor.

‘There’s no rush. I’m personally not ready at all. I’ve only just got properly going at work. It’s bloody competitive in my office as well.’

‘Same! I mean, do you think you will have one, one day though?’ I asked.

‘Dunno. Not until I’m much older, I think. I reckon I’ll have one when I’m like thirty-eight or something? When I’m bossin’ it as a lawyer with millions of pounds,’ Cec said, laughing.

‘That sounds good Cec – and there’s no doubt you’ll be bossing it. I guess we can just wait and see, can’t we?’

‘Exactly. And anyway Ol, don’t worry about today, and keep me posted. Right, I’d better sign off, I’ve got to get through a mountain of stuff and wanna be home by 1 a.m. God help me. Love you.’

‘Love you – bye Cec.’

I loved Cec’s ambition, her general go-getting attitude. She was a party animal at the weekends and worked super-hard in the week. I loved that we both weren’t in any rush to settle down. I was suddenly worried about losing Bea. Terrified that this was the start of the downhill slope. The downhill slope to adulthood and suburbia and staying on the sofa 24/7. Was she going to be getting excited about Tupperware parties next?