I twiddle my thumbs and breathe through my nose deeply. Why is this next bit so hard? ‘I just want to take this chance to say … I’m really sorry for the way I’ve been acting, if I’ve caused anyone any hurt or upset. Or, if you feel like I sort of disappeared with Marcus for a bit, during the whole honeymoon period thing,’ I say.

Isla stays quiet.

‘I don’t think you have, Ol,’ Bea says, unfolding her napkin on her lap.

‘Well, I guess I felt pretty alienated when you guys went to that … child-free event together,’ Isla says tentatively.

There goes keeping quiet. ‘Isla, we didn’t invite you for obvious reasons. And, the CFBC really helped me. I might not be signing up anytime soon, but being around like-minded people made me feel less alone. I was in a really bad place after all the stuff with Jacob,’ I say. ‘It meant a lot.’

‘Well the bullshit problems I’ve been having with my fertility mean a lot to me,’ Isla replies, getting more heated.

‘Both things can mean a lot to both of you,’ Bea snaps. ‘Come on, let’s put this all behind us, please.’

‘Agreed, we are four very different women. Very different to when we first met,’ I say.

Jono comes over and takes our wine order. He obviously senses the awkwardness.

‘Everything OK, ladies?’

‘Hmm,’ we all sort of murmur back.

‘Would you like to order?’ Jono gets his notepad out.

‘Ah, I’m not ready yet, sorry,’ I say. The theme of my life.

‘Yeah, few more minutes please. Thanks Jono,’ Cec says.

‘Girls!’ Jono flaps, putting his pen behind his ear. ‘I don’t know what’s going on here, but all I know is that you have all been coming here for almost ten years. I’ve never known four women who are as close as you four. Come on! I’ll be back in five!’

‘Look, Jono’s right. Our friendship is worth more than all these silly fights,’ Bea says.

‘Let’s go around the table and each apologize,’ Cec says.

‘That’s stupid,’ Isla says.

‘No it’s not. It’s adult,’ Cec says.

‘OK, go on, then,’ Isla says, huffily.

‘I’ll go first,’ Bea says. ‘I’m sorry for not being honest with you, Isla, when I went to the CFBC with Olive. I’m sorry I joked about the importance of it, Olive. I’m sorry I didn’t open up to you guys properly when I found out Jeremy was cheating on me.’

‘Bea – we get it, it’s been horrible and hard,’ Cec says.

‘I know, honestly one day I might laugh, it’s that much of a cliché to run away with a younger, hotter woman. Anyway, I’m slowly, slowly getting my head around it. But look, my point is that none of us round this table has a perfect life, none of us will make identical choices – let’s just be a little bit gentler on each other, OK?’ Bea says, softly.

I nod.

Cec speaks next. ‘And I’m sorry, Isla, for making you feel like shit at my baby shower by putting demands on you. For being distant since I’ve had Oscar. For rejecting your help, Bea – I just felt like a weirdly different person once I became a mum, my mental health was in a really rocky place. It was so scary, I didn’t know how to just be “me” any more,’ she says, solemnly.