‘Of course, many women go through these phases.’

‘Phases?’

‘You may have a hormone imbalance. You may be oestrogen dominant and naturally have low progesterone. It’s only biology – it’s not you! You mustn’t put yourself down because of this.’

‘I suppose I’m wondering from your research and experience with other women, if these feelings might be normal, and whether you think … I might change my mind one day,’ I say.

‘From my experience, you will most probably change your mind,’ Cyril says, not skipping a beat.

‘I will?’

‘Oh yes,’ Cyril sighs. ‘I have heard thousands of these stories, stories just like yours. You must not let this worry you. Some women repress deep feelings of desire for children at first. It’s fear. This is how we often deal with fear – we shut it down, shut it off, bury it deep down and teach ourselves to hate it. This is when we have to dissect it, explore it before your brain connects to your body. It’s just about coming to terms with the idea before your body takes action and releases all of the chemicals to make you feel ready. Perfectly normal.’ She taps her iPad again.

‘Right,’ I say.

‘As women, unfortunately, we cannot trust our own hormones.’

What?

‘It’s annoying, but such is life. You shouldn’t read too much into these intense feelings. Try not to.’

‘So, you’re telling me I can’t trust these feelings I’m having?’

‘Indeed. It’s just your mind playing a trick on you. Very normal.’ She pauses. ‘So how would you like to move ahead and work together? Our approach is highly personal and holistic. We offer acupuncture, diet and nutrition advice, testing for fertility issues, and emotional support. Don’t be afraid, we will find a solution to this problem.’

‘But … are you saying you’ve never come across women who genuinely never wanted children – and felt fine about it? I’m pretty sure these women do exist,’ I say.

‘Oh, of course they do! But from my experience they always end up wanting one after our sessions. It’s about getting the body ready to welcome a new life. We get to the bottom of it, whatever that issue or block might be, and we realize those maternal feelings were there all along,’ Cyril says, smiling. She is now sitting on the floor in the lotus position. ‘Sorry, darling, I do like to move around a lot while talking. I like to stretch, sitting in one place for too long isn’t good for you. Come down here and stretch with me.’ She flaps her hand at me.

I get on the floor, on a giant mat, and she tells me to kneel on all fours.

‘Right, first let’s do the “cow”: lower your back so it’s flat.’

‘OK,’ I do as she says.

‘Say moo with me,’ Cyril says.

We moo.

‘Now, we do the “cat”, arching our backs. Lift upwards, you’ll feel a nice stretch. Now say meow as you breathe out,’ says Cyril.