“Meg is Drew’s daughter. All this time, I’ve been missing my brother, and now I’ve been given such a gift because he was alive in his girl. If I had died in the accident, I wouldn’t have been around to tell Meg about her dad. And if I’d jumped off that cliff that night, I wouldn’t have gotten to look into my brother’s eyes again.”

He shakes his head, pressing his lips together before continuing in a low voice, “I can’t begin to understand God’s reasons for how things happen or who lives and dies in this life. But I can say with one hundred percent certainty that God sends us exactly the right person at the right time. He sent me Brian all those years ago, and he sent us Meg this past week. I am very blessed. Thank you.”

James hugs Brian as a round of applause rings out. I watch them through my tears, my mind whirling out of control, one question circling round and round, making no purchase.

If God brought my parents together that one time, just to make me, and if it was a blessing planned by God, how could it be a sin? Are sins just blessings being played in God’s long game?

12

Micah

It’s Eve’s fault. She texted me from Sunday school in a panic because she was supposed to go straight to work at Panera after church and forgot her apron. She knew I was home, likely asleep—of course I was—and asked if I could drop it off before the service started. But then she asked me to walk it in because she was stuck late in the nursery with a baby whose parents were serving in the elementary teaching room and the parents of those kids were late and it was this whole ripple effect.

There I was, holding an apron and trying not to be noticed, when I heard the music start up. I knew right away it wasn’t James. Which was weird. As far as I knew, James led worship every week.

Recognizing my stepdad’s voice, I snuck in the back door and sat in the last row next to the ushers, listening. It’s been years since Brian sang. He used to sing every Sunday before he married my mom. But once they were married and she became pregnant, he stepped down because of the stress it caused on Sunday mornings. It was hard enough getting three kids to church on your own, let alone six.

I like Brian’s voice. It’s mellow and crisp. Very Vance Joy, if you know what I mean. And soon enough, it’s over. I’m standing to grab up Eve’s things when I hear Brian announce James and say something about his “niece” being there. Meg’s here? At church?