Chapters (42)
Probably not. Right? But also, people were marrying strangers, and women were basically sold off to the highest bidder, and didn’t King Solomon have, like, seven hundred wives? And like, three hundred mistresses? So, was that the ancient workaround? Can’t have sex until marriage? Marry them all!
Ugh. This is very complicated. I want to turn my brain off. I want to forget all the things I’ve been told and just live. For once in my life, I want to be. Why does everything have to have eternal consequences? What kind of bullshit is that, anyway?
Without opening my eyes, I make a choice. I lean toward him, wrapping my fingers around the back of his neck and relishing the softness of his hair. “Yes,” I whisper. I place a kiss on his lips, savoring the sweetness there, before pressing closer and opening my mouth to him for the zillionth time tonight. This I like. This I’ve gotten better at, if his enthusiasm is any measure. Micah’s hands find my hips like before and squeeze. With my other hand, I find his heart under his dress shirt. It’s racing as fast as mine, and that’s what causes me to pull him over on top of me. We lay there a long time, kissing and feeling. Exploring each other’s mouths. Tasting and loving.
Because I do love him. Maybe I’m not ready to tell him yet. It feels early and scary to admit it after only knowing him a few months.
But I show him with every exhale and lick and whisper. And he shows me. His sure hands cupping and caressing me over my dress. His body, firm and strong on top of me. This time, unabashedly pressing against me right there, causing us both to gasp over and over with every brush.
And when his fingers dance along the hem of my dress, and his eyes seek mine for permission, I lay my hand over his and lead him underneath.
20
Micah
I’m in love with her, and this is the best way I know how to show her.
Please, please, please, for all that is good and holy and right, let her feel it.
21
Meg
It starts with tiny breaths and fluttering lashes
Rolling hips and whispered pants that build and stretch
Until
Trembling
Shaking
Quaking
Gasping
Singing
Praying
Stars and fire and lightning strikes
Blink and wink and glitter and fade
Until
All my shattered pieces fuse back together around him
Him
Him
Forever him