Chapters (93)
- Cover
- About the Author
- Also by Sarah Clarke
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Note to Readers
- Prologue
- December 2021
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- January 2003
- Chapter 6
- December 2021
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- February 2003
- Chapter 9
- December 2021
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- March 2003
- Chapter 13
- December 2021
- Chapter 14
- Chapter 15
- Chapter 16
- Chapter 17
- April 2003
- Chapter 18
- December 2021
- Chapter 19
- Chapter 20
- Chapter 21
- Chapter 22
- April 2003
- Chapter 23
- December 2021
- Chapter 24
- Chapter 25
- Chapter 26
- April 2003
- Chapter 27
- December 2021
- Chapter 28
- Chapter 29
- Chapter 30
- Chapter 31
- Chapter 32
- Chapter 33
- Chapter 34
- May 2003
- Chapter 35
- December 2021
- Chapter 36
- May 2003
- Chapter 37
- December 2021
- Chapter 38
- Chapter 39
- Chapter 40
- Chapter 41
- Chapter 42
- Chapter 43
- Chapter 44
- Chapter 45
- Chapter 46
- Chapter 47
- Chapter 48
- Chapter 49
- Chapter 50
- April 2003
- Chapter 51
- December 2021
- Chapter 52
- June 2003
- Chapter 53
- December 2021
- Chapter 54
- Chapter 55
- Chapter 56
- January 2022
- Chapter 57
- Epilogue
- A Letter from Sarah Clarke
- Keep Reading …
- Acknowledgements
- Dear Reader …
- About the Publisher
Mark stares inside the dimly lit flat. The carpet is grimy – mud, he hopes – and the smell is rancid. Sweat, weed, sick and booze; all mixed together like some hideous anti-perfume. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. ‘Can we just talk here?’
‘Don’t be a prick.’ The man lumbers back into the flat, leaving the door open. Mark sighs – reminds himself that Jon came and went safely from this place for years – and follows him into the front room. A couple of kids are hunched over gaming controllers, Call of Duty crashing out of the TV, and an older guy is slumped in an armchair, eyes wide, like he’s been zapped frozen by some Disney villain. ‘Yeah?’ Rudy says, ignoring the guy and easing himself down onto the chair’s arm.
‘Well,’ Mark starts, feeling more sober now than he’d like. ‘I’ve got some bad news.’
‘I heard about Jon dying the other night,’ Rudy says, ‘if that’s what you mean.’ He says it so casually, without a hint of grief or guilt. The guy must know it was his gear that Jon was shooting up, and he still doesn’t give a toss.
‘Heroin overdose, they reckon,’ Mark lies, suddenly desperate to cause a reaction. Yes, Jon was just some old homeless bloke with a smack habit, but he was also kind. Generous, despite having nothing; loyal to Rudy for a good five years. Mark shouldn’t be the only one mourning him. But his plan backfires because it’s shame he wants to see, not laughter.
‘Fucking dickhead.’ Rudy chuckles. ‘You’d think he’d have worked out how to do it right by now.’ Then he straightens out his face. ‘Anyway, what do you actually want?’
What Mark actually wants is to scream at the guy, tell him he’s a disrespectful piece of shit who deserves a fucking kicking. But Rudy looks like he could bench-press Mark without breaking a sweat, so he keeps his mouth shut.
‘You after some brown too?’ Rudy asks, mistaking Mark’s silence for embarrassment. He walks over to an IKEA chest of drawers in the corner of the room, the wood veneer peeling at the edges, and curls his fingers around the top drawer.
‘No,’ Mark says quickly. Why do people keep assuming he’s a smackhead?
‘Oh.’ Rudy screws up his face. ‘You after Jon’s job, then. Is that it?’
‘No, I …’
Rudy pushes air through his nose like a horse. ‘Well what the fuck do you want? Because all I’m seeing is a scrawny ginger pole wasting my time.’