Saskia draws her daughter into her midriff and strokes her hair. It’s long and blonde, like her own but without the chemicals. Saskia’s not the maternal type – when she first announced her pregnancy, the general reaction was more akin to shock than delight – but as it turned out, she’s fairly passionate about it. Not the chores element – homework, washing, signing school trip waivers – but the fundamentals of motherhood. Loving, championing, protecting her children. She does that part like the stereotypical lioness. ‘Of course I promise,’ she whispers, and silently challenges Beth to dare turn her invite down again.

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Kat

‘You’re different now, Kat. Body shape, eyes, hair, even your name; everything about you. So this time, it’s going to be different with Beth too, okay?’ The words ring out in the small bathroom as Kat stares into the mirror. She thinks about the old saying, that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness. But she knows that’s not true. Madness thrives in silence, when the only voice you listen to is the one inside your head.

And it’s not like she could say these things to anyone else.

Kat churned through her regular weekend activities: visits to the garage to punch some of the tension out of her shoulders; walks across the common, her heart clamping down every time she saw an apricot cockapoo. But she was just killing time really. Waiting for the message that finally beeped through this morning. When she read Beth’s text asking if she could walk Luna after work today, Kat had felt a heat spread through her, a warm glow down her arms and something hotter burning her neck and cheeks. It was happening.

She still needs to be patient, to give Beth time to feel relaxed around her, but she’s chosen this path and she’s walking down it.

Kat hadn’t told Beth that it’s her day off. Stopping at Beth’s on her way home from Groom & Bloom was one thing, but if she revealed that she’d be making a special trip it might seem overzealous, or give some hint of her ulterior motive. Even worse, it might cause Beth to change her mind, and Kat couldn’t bear that.

Kat pushes herself off the sink and away from the mirror. Her heart is already racing; she can’t imagine how she’s going to feel when she’s stood outside Beth’s house, ringing her doorbell, seeing her standing on the threshold. But she needs to hold it together because Beth mustn’t get suspicious. With the way their friendship ended, Beth would be unlikely to welcome Kat with open arms if she knew her true identity.