Chapters (100)

Starting university was tougher than I expected. I’d always been a good student, and I’d never been challenged really, but now I felt overwhelmed when it came to these new assignments. I was barely getting by, with really bad grades, and all my essays came back to me marked up, comments screaming in red ink.

Fortunately, he’s been in university for a long time and knows how to do it all. He’s so clever, and he weaves together these smart, scholarly texts out of nothing. Sometimes he writes essays for me when he has the time. I’m doing much better.

Internet Friends II

We’re always together at his place. I’ve even started to hang out there when he isn’t home. It’s great because he lives so close to the university, and he knows where to find me. I know that he talks to other girls on the internet. Sometimes I spy on him and read over his shoulder to find out who he’s talking to. He can’t stand it. He’s very private; he doesn’t want me to use his computer unless he’s with me. He sometimes talks to the red-haired girl he fucked, but he insists that they’re just friends. I have male friends, and he says that I need to accept that he has female friends, too.

Prevention II

I went to the craft store on Skólavörðustígur and bought glass paint. For the past few weeks I’ve been collecting little jars that could make beautiful candleholders. I thought we could paint them together. It would be a nice change from watching films and having sex. I thought he would be excited about it, but he made a scene of plunking down into a chair at the kitchen table, where he sulked, taking one of the little jars in his big hands.

He wasn’t dexterous enough to use the fine brushes I’d bought for the occasion. The paints ran and smudged together, and his jar became, in the end, a green-gray muddy color, as if a three-year-old child had been painting. He pushed the ugly jar away and heaved a sigh of resignation, washed his hands, and walked off with the computer folded under his arm. I stayed behind, painting jar after jar in gorgeous colors and shapes. If he takes one of his online girls home with him, maybe they’ll notice these intricately painted tealights, and they’ll have the decency to fuck off.

Limits I

He keeps asking me about anal sex. I just say that I don’t understand why he wants it so much. Then he gets this dreamy look on his face and says he can’t even describe how good it feels. So tight and unique—something totally different. In the end, I gave in.