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Chapters (57)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. CHAPTER ONE
  5. CHAPTER TWO
  6. CHAPTER THREE
  7. CHAPTER FOUR
  8. CHAPTER FIVE
  9. CHAPTER SIX
  10. CHAPTER SEVEN
  11. CHAPTER EIGHT
  12. CHAPTER NINE
  13. CHAPTER TEN
  14. CHAPTER ELEVEN
  15. CHAPTER TWELVE
  16. CHAPTER THIRTEEN
  17. CHAPTER FOURTEEN
  18. CHAPTER FIFTEEN
  19. CHAPTER SIXTEEN
  20. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
  21. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
  22. CHAPTER NINETEEN
  23. CHAPTER TWENTY
  24. CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
  25. CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
  26. CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
  27. CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
  28. CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
  29. CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
  30. CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
  31. CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
  32. CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
  33. CHAPTER THIRTY
  34. CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
  35. CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
  36. CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
  37. CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
  38. CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
  39. CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
  40. CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
  41. CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
  42. CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
  43. CHAPTER FORTY
  44. CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
  45. CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
  46. CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
  47. CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
  48. CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
  49. CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
  50. CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
  51. CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
  52. CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
  53. CHAPTER FIFTY
  54. CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
  55. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  56. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  57. What’s next onyour reading list?

Which was also why she didn’t explain to Owen that, with her, with girls, it went beyond kissing, that his body was not the only kind of body she knew how to want. Lulu didn’t want to try to explain something to him that she was still in the process of figuring out for herself.

Even still, he didn’t love it at first.

“I need—” he said. “Some time.”

“I don’t have to do it,” she said. It was one of their rare long nights together. His dad was on tour and his mom was away for the weekend at a conference. They’d bribed his younger brothers to stay downstairs and keep their secret. Lulu was naked, she was in his bed, she was his, she was so his. It felt safe, somehow, like he could give her permission to do this thing and it wouldn’t mean the same things as if she did it on her own. And then she would have everything: Owen, and girls, and a life that was safe and exciting and normal and good and right.

“It’s not like a compulsion or anything,” she explained. “I just sort of thought you might be into it. A fun little game.” Lulu pouted for good measure. “A lot of guys would want to.”

But maybe Owen sensed that Lulu’s intentions weren’t as pure or selfless as she was making them out to be.

“I just—as long as you don’t leave me out of it,” he said. He was smiling like he was just kidding around, but Lulu knew him well enough to recognize his serious eyes. “It’s not just you making out with random girls at parties and I stumble on it and it’s like, oh, cool, there’s Lulu doing her thing.”

Lulu hated the idea of hurting him. That wasn’t what she wanted at all. “It would be for us,” she said. “For you and for me, together.”

“We could try it out,” he said. “We can definitely try.”

Owen wasn’t at the party where Lulu met Sloane. It was late August and he was on tour with his dad at that point, doing one week of adventuring before he had to start school. He wasn’t there when Jules introduced them, when they sat next to each other on the back patio all night, Sloane’s thigh warm and soft and so incredibly bare against Lulu’s.