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Chapters (57)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. CHAPTER ONE
  5. CHAPTER TWO
  6. CHAPTER THREE
  7. CHAPTER FOUR
  8. CHAPTER FIVE
  9. CHAPTER SIX
  10. CHAPTER SEVEN
  11. CHAPTER EIGHT
  12. CHAPTER NINE
  13. CHAPTER TEN
  14. CHAPTER ELEVEN
  15. CHAPTER TWELVE
  16. CHAPTER THIRTEEN
  17. CHAPTER FOURTEEN
  18. CHAPTER FIFTEEN
  19. CHAPTER SIXTEEN
  20. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
  21. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
  22. CHAPTER NINETEEN
  23. CHAPTER TWENTY
  24. CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
  25. CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
  26. CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
  27. CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
  28. CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
  29. CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
  30. CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
  31. CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
  32. CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
  33. CHAPTER THIRTY
  34. CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
  35. CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
  36. CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
  37. CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
  38. CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
  39. CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
  40. CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
  41. CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
  42. CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
  43. CHAPTER FORTY
  44. CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
  45. CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
  46. CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
  47. CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
  48. CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
  49. CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
  50. CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
  51. CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
  52. CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
  53. CHAPTER FIFTY
  54. CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
  55. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  56. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  57. What’s next onyour reading list?

So what she wanted was to never have done it, or, barring that, to at least be able to pretend it away the way she’d pretended past every other inconvenient fact in her life.

Lulu thinks about Bea defending her at that party, being sharp and rude to Jason and then distracting and charming to Oliver. She would never have asked Bea to do those things for her—to take care of Lulu’s messiness instead of leaving her to clean up after herself. But Bea did them anyway, and that’s worth so much that it scares Lulu sometimes. To think that Bea loves her more than she loves her own social status, or her own rules. That Bea just loves her, just because.

I’m not up to anything cool, Lulu sends Bea. I miss your face.

Well feel free to FaceTime me whenever then
I got international data for dayssssssss

Don’t answer your phone while you’re skiing please B

Lol never, Bea says. Def no.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

IT FEELS LIKE Cass is giving the days to Lulu like gifts: afternoons on the balcony, or down by the pool while Ryan practices skateboarding and takes pictures. Sometimes Lulu will wander off to the sunlit greenhouse and wait for Cass to come find her. Cass always does, and when she appears in the doorway, Lulu’s heart kicks against her ribs. She’s overcome with the sweetest, hottest ache: that Cass noticed she was missing, and wanted to know where she was.

Work on the property seems to have stalled out for the season. The Hotel looks finished, but there’s nothing in it: no furniture except what Ryan’s brought in for his own personal use. For days and days, nothing changes, and it’s a relief. The days keep getting shorter, sliding into each other so fast sometimes Lulu feels like she can barely keep up, so it’s nice that this one thing has arrested itself for her, just a temporary lacuna where she can sit still.

The tent has been relocated to The Hotel’s lobby. It’s too cold to sleep out of doors anymore. On the day they bring it in, Cass insists on stringing Christmas lights around the inside so they can get stoned and lie on their backs and watch the colors blink. Ryan takes a video of the scene, panning across their faces and then up to the lights.

He usually asks before he takes any pictures. “You guys good?” he’ll say, and Lulu has never said no, but more and more she’s been thinking about it.