That’s just another few years, Lulu knows. The family is certainly already at work on a redemption narrative for him. They’ll do what it takes to clear their name—never mind that they’re just teaching Ryan that his bad behavior is tolerable, encouraging him to do it again. She hasn’t changed anything, really.

But now Ryan Riggs has felt afraid the way she has. He knows that he’s vulnerable. He knows that he’s not the only person in the world with feelings, or power, or rage.

This probably won’t teach him to be kind. But that’s not Lulu’s fault. She gave him the opportunity to understand something. She can’t be responsible for making sure that he takes it too.

Thanks for telling me about Emma that night, Lulu sends Sloane. And thanks for being so cool about all of this.

What can I say, Sloane responds. I am cool.

Lulu looks at her phone, trying to decide what to say next. When she got back to school after the Sloane Flash came out, Angie Dallow immediately tried to talk her into joining St. Amelia’s Out & Proud club, which meets Thursdays after school and organizes a couple of assemblies every year where queer speakers come talk about how it’s, like, so fine to be gay or whatever.

Lulu brushed Angie off; she didn’t understand why being openly bisexual meant she had to start hanging out with a bunch of people she’d never wanted to be friends with before. But lately, the idea of having friends who understood certain things about her without her having to explain them, friends among whom she’d be standard, instead of a deviation—that’s started to sound appealing. Lulu will never love anyone more than Bea, but Bea can’t be everything to Lulu, the same way Lulu can’t be everything to Bea.

I was thinking, Lulu says, what if we started being, like, friends

WILD, Sloane sends back. And then, but also, yeah, I’d be super into that

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

OWEN FINDS HER between periods on Monday morning. “Lu,” he says.

“Hey.” She tries to weave by him, but Owen isn’t having it. He texted her three times on Sunday, and called her that night. She had hoped that ignoring him would be enough, but clearly he isn’t getting the hint.

“What’s up?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“Well, I have class right now.”

“After school, then. We can go up to the overlook or something. Please, Lu.”

She’s never been good at saying no to him. “Sure,” Lulu says. “After school.”

“Okay,” Owen says. “Okay good. I’ll see you then.”