Back Look
Chapters (57)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. CHAPTER ONE
  5. CHAPTER TWO
  6. CHAPTER THREE
  7. CHAPTER FOUR
  8. CHAPTER FIVE
  9. CHAPTER SIX
  10. CHAPTER SEVEN
  11. CHAPTER EIGHT
  12. CHAPTER NINE
  13. CHAPTER TEN
  14. CHAPTER ELEVEN
  15. CHAPTER TWELVE
  16. CHAPTER THIRTEEN
  17. CHAPTER FOURTEEN
  18. CHAPTER FIFTEEN
  19. CHAPTER SIXTEEN
  20. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
  21. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
  22. CHAPTER NINETEEN
  23. CHAPTER TWENTY
  24. CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
  25. CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
  26. CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
  27. CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
  28. CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
  29. CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
  30. CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
  31. CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
  32. CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
  33. CHAPTER THIRTY
  34. CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
  35. CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
  36. CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
  37. CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
  38. CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
  39. CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
  40. CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
  41. CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
  42. CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
  43. CHAPTER FORTY
  44. CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
  45. CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
  46. CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
  47. CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
  48. CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
  49. CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
  50. CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
  51. CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
  52. CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
  53. CHAPTER FIFTY
  54. CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
  55. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  56. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  57. What’s next onyour reading list?

Ryan, however, has found her. “You like them?” he asks.

“Sure,” Lulu says. “Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thank you.”

He holds something out to her. It’s small, gold, gleaming. A key.

“What?” Lulu asks.

“Look,” Ryan says. “See for yourself.” He gestures toward a door.

Three is part of a suite, it turns out: It opens right onto Four. Lulu fits the key into the lock and presses the door open. The walls in here are a pale seashell pink: the ones she and Cass and Ryan painted by hand. The only piece of this place she helped make real.

You can barely see the color, though, because of all of the bodies.

There’s a moment before the rest of the crowd pushes in behind her when Lulu is alone with them: probably a hundred photographs framed and hung on the wall. All of them are pictures of women, women, women.

There are so many of them that at first she can’t make out any details. She’s rushed over by the repeating pattern of lips, teeth, eyes, hair, arms, legs, breasts, waists. The photographs are black and white or warm with color. The sheer number makes them impossible to parse. It’s just a silent stack of slender limbs and disembodied smiles and deep, generous cleavage.

Then certain faces start to resolve themselves into something familiar. There’s Constance Wilmott, captured on set and in stills from Bluebeard. Press photos of her, young and glamorous, are contrasted with later snapshots: Constance still alive in the ’50s and ’60s, no longer a star but still unmistakably, shockingly beautiful. Lulu recognizes Ryan’s mother, who modeled before she met his father, posing in advertisements for cigarettes and cheap beer. Roman Jr. must have loaned out the use of some photos from Flash: There’s the girl Lulu just saw downstairs, pictured taking a selfie in a mirrored hallway, her body multiplied endlessly out around her.

The movement of the crowd moves Lulu. She sees pictures of women she can’t identify. There’s so much. There’s so many.

What is Ryan doing?

A flash of color on a far wall blinks at her. Lulu would know the flame of Cass’s hair anywhere. She pushes through until she sees the picture.

The picture of Cass, and of herself.

All of the walls in the room are crowded, but mostly the images are diverse, scattered: like a collage clipped from fashion and art and social media and a few things Lulu suspects originated in soft-core porn. This wall is all Ryan’s work, and the models are the same in every photograph: just Cass and Lulu, over and over and over again.