4:17PM: watching video of sam pink reading at KGB. he looks handsome, like grecian god style. he’s said ‘sour cream’ twice, so far. people laughed onscreen. the lighting is making his face look like ‘what the other hitman would’ve been told not to remember.’ sort of remember where i stood in relation to camera that night. would be crazy if i knew where i stood in relation to camera at all times. need to get my ass out the door to buy bananas. he said ‘sour cream’ again.

4:26PM: skipped to kitchen, making a noise like ‘blreelerleeloobleeloolooloo.’ opened four-pack steaz energy drinks and took one as a reward for ‘being so productive so far.’ skipped back to room thinking ‘how will i type ‘blreelerloorlooleeloo’ noise?’ no responses from keith or colin yet. going to read liveblog i’ve written as a reward. this is not a reward. shit. i should just get moving instead. no, allow yourself small rewards, otherwise this won’t work. small rewards. shit.

4:32PM: keith texted ‘Dang. Id love to madge, but I’m afraid I can’t.’

**IF ANYONE READING THIS WOULD LIKE TO WRITE A SHORT LETTER RECOMMENDING ME, LIKE, PRETENDING YOU KNOW ME AS AN EMPLOYEE BUT HAVE COME TO THINK OF ME AS A FRIEND YOU TRUST THE WAY YOU TRUST A NEIGHBOR OR TENANT WHICH ARE BOTH AREAS YOU THINK I COULD EXCEL—COLIN SAID IT WOULD BE GOOD TO INCLUDE THE WORD ‘INTEGRITY’—PLEASE EMAIL ME, WILL PAY YOU, NEEDS TO SOUND LIKE WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR YEARS **

**MY LIFE IS………………………………….JESUS………..FEEL…..JESUS…………….

5:26PM: matthew donahoo has come to my rescue with a sweet letter of recommendation and writing topic lists. masha has started liveblog project. sam cooke emailed list too. my crotch smells like coconut oil.

6:02PM: mom brought a big beige ‘industrial strength’-looking blanket to my room and said ‘do you want this, for emergencies? for the trunk of your car? you can fold it.’ i said ‘sure’ and she walked away, leaving the obviously-not-her-style blanket. ate b-vitamin, zeolite supplement. sent two emails. paid matthew. have been feeling, like, waiting for something, and ready, like in ‘a farewell to arms’ where they’re in the trench and haven’t eaten and ernest hemingway brings them moldy cheese and pasta and then they get bombed. going to leave for whole foods now.

6:17PM: when i passed mom’s room she covered the talking part of her phone, said ‘meggie? oh nevermind, i was going to ask dad to bring bananas but you want fresh air.’ walked downstairs saying, ‘yeah, yeah, i want that, fresh air,’ accidentally like how terry gross says it on NPR, like, ‘FRRRRRResh air.’