•  the 24-hour deli by me is called ‘pickles & pies’ and there was a sign with an old-looking corona bottle (like just old enough for you to be like ‘huh,’ like ‘1999-2002 old’) and a product called ‘pepsi twist’ that was almost covered up. also a man working on a grill, could see him from the outside.

•  saw a grocery store in the not-far distance. sign said ‘wa[something] mbd’s.’ tried to sound it out. zachary said ‘do you want to just make food instead?’ and i said ‘yeah.’ we had to walk over some kind of generator-run ATM area/parking lot/police station. figured out the sign said ‘waldbaum’s fresh.’ approached store. repeated ‘waldbaum’s fresh’ a few times, chuckling and using a variety of curious-sounding inflections/pitches, like beavis and butthead. when they do that thing.

•  a few minutes after we walked in there was a storewide ‘ten minutes to close’ loudspeaker announcement. zachary seemed joyless and businesslike, looking at food. i felt the thing of ‘how long have i known this person’ again. remembered being in ‘fresh grocer’ with him the night we gave up and threw the rotten watermelon into the water at penn treaty park, but i didn’t remember the watermelon part until now. in waldbaum’s i just remembered walking around the grocery store and commiserating in our indecisiveness about food and agitation at each other/the situation, and how even though that was bad, something seemed better than now.

•  bought kale, cucumber, yellow pepper, two strip steaks, avocado, banana, spinach. zachary said ‘beer…’ and i said ‘oh beer.’ he said ‘sometimes in grocery stores in new york they’ll sell beer,’ which i knew. i said ‘o-hhh.’ we saw beer. i said ‘look at schaeffer’s, i want schaeffer’s.’ zachary chuckled and said ‘okay’ like how ferris bueller would say ‘okay’ to a leprechaun at his door with surprise room service. compared with other things this felt extra good. still felt the ‘something has changed, am i just meeting this person’ thing but not as much.

April 30, 2013

APRIL 30, 2013

12–1:30AM: (things i remember, continued:)