9:26pm: gave mom pink sea urchin. Dropped it on the way in, it makes neon rainbows. Mom liked it. She put it in her dress and said ‘or it could just be, you know, like this, if you ever wanna va-va-voom.’ I said ‘yeah, for the club, for that extra boost you need sometimes. One boob only night.’ An old SNL was on TV. I said ‘oh, samurai…’ mom said ‘I know.’ I said ‘I have to talk to rolling stone now, hahaha.’ mom said ‘I kn-oo-ow! Want me to turn the TV down?’ I said ‘no it’s just fine. I am going to shut my door though.’ she said ‘okay honey.’ Messaged the rolling stone person on Skype. Air is fizzing out of my sparkling water bottle. Ate noopept. Put a new cartridge in e-cigarette.

9:31pm: rolling stone person said he’d call on Skype in five minutes.

11:00PM: the rolling stone person was female. haha me. ambiguous name. worried i said ‘too much’ about tao, also don’t think there’s ‘too much’ i could say about anything.

11:59PM: watching steve martin host SNL. dad came in at some point and i left.

June 13, 2013

JUNE 13, 2013

12–2:30AM: unprecedentedly long text message conversation with [omitted]. maybe longest text message exchange of ever. it was like constant, like a gchat. okay. good. i’m thinking ‘okay. good.’ or ‘okay. great.’ as kind of ‘brain hiccups’ lately. the periods are part of it, when i think it.

3:51AM: tired. emailed rolling stone person links to all the mdmafilms event coverage/trailers/movies with corresponding ‘page #’s where i think this happens in ‘taipei.” i said ‘this is probably excessive’ in beginning of email. made toast.

12:01PM: woke.

2:09PM: talked with mom, she finished ‘taipei.’ ate four small pieces toast. drinking coffee. having a hard time waking. need to go to lawyer’s office.

do you people ever shake your head or sit up too fast or rub your eyelids too hard and you see black swarming glittery dots? they’re really pretty. they move ‘softly.’ like soft…they’re like drills. little spinning drills. anyone? *sparkly* it is key that you understand the sparkliness. like when cartoons ‘see stars?’ anyone?

mom said ‘you are really slender, you lost a lot of weight.’ she got a call from someone renting one of my dad’s offices and i went to my room. we talked a little more about the book but i felt this fatigue thing…toast-driven fatigue…

i want to drive to mountains in frederick, md

i used to drive to frederick when i didn’t feel so good

i feel okay today

i want to pick up papers from the attorney for the accident settlement

2:32PM: i’m listening to system of a down. the one where he’s like ‘why have you forsaken me.’ so funny.

overheard mom say ‘oh you’re in aruba? in curacao? oh that’s wonderful’ on the phone.