8:45AM: unplugged toaster. troubled by ‘sleeping at sunrise then waking every two or three hours until early evening’ routine. going to look at internet and wait for xanax to kick in.

11:00AM: woke to muffled talking sounds punctuated by basso voice of dad, who seemed to be agreeing with something a lot. covered head and macbook with blanket.

3:15PM: my job was to paint the freshmen’s tents pink. i knew earth would explode in a few minutes, because the universe was resetting. this had been shown to me in a kind of pre-flight safety video. the freshman looked human but acted like feral cats. they shared a brain with ‘feral cat concerns.’ i was their caretaker, kind of. they wanted sex with me. told dream to mom. she said ‘are you sure you want to be moving to new york right now?’ i said ‘i don’t know what else to do, i need to do something, i feel like i’m dying.’ put spinach, avocado, cucumber, coconut water, banana in blender. mom described plot of murder mystery novel. i looked for another banana or a suitable second banana substitute. mom said ‘i’m so glad you don’t want to be an F.B.I. agent.’ i said ‘yeah, i thought about being one, back when i watched ‘silence of the lambs.’ they don’t let you do drugs though.’ she said ‘what?’ i said ‘it seems too hard.’

3:53PM: mom said ‘meggie do you want dad to bring home some bananas? he should be home soon.’ i said ‘no thank you, that’s okay, i’ll get them.’ she said ‘it really wouldn’t be a problem.’ i said ‘i know, i know, i just feel like i want to take a drive,’ like napoleon dynamite. ate 10mg adderall.

things i need to do today:

•  write letter recommending myself as if i am tao and he is my employer

•  ask keith (friend/former boss) if he’ll write short letter recommending me, or if he’ll endorse letter i’ll write as him

•  ask colin (real estate agent) what time and where in NYC he wants to meet tomorrow

•  write cover letter for apartment application binder

•  buy binder for apartment application binder

•  write article for vice column

4:11PM: texted keith, asked if he wants to get drinks tonight. texted colin. colin is three years younger than me, owns a small business, works tech support for cable company he might also own, has served in military, has yet to but will most surely definitely graduate college. dwarves me with his success. lives in the apartment across the hall from the one i want.