12:57AM: feeling better. tweeted with tao. debated ordering pizza. listening to the ‘hole in my heart that can only be filled by you’ song from duane reade yesterday. dollar store song. ate 1mg xanax for motivation to shower or do laundry and walked around, pausing arbitrarily but with ‘doom intervals.’ have been wearing bathing suit from freshman year of high school since last night. red light, rainbow lights, and soft yellow light are on. it feels nice. ate 5mg oxycodone. wonder how tao is watching ‘oblivion.’ on phone? he is in the UK without a computer. clicked on a ‘these horses have better hair than you’ link. they did.

[unsure]–4:[something]AM: read ‘frowns need friends too,’ feeling comforted and sometimes laughing. watched ‘the office.’ ate 1mg xanax, avocado with salt and lime, and what remained of a bag of ‘pirate’s booty’ cheese puffs it seemed like i had hidden in a cabinet. at 2AM i saw alec had responded to my message at 1:30AM saying we could hang out if i picked him up in bed stuy now. hadn’t showered yet and felt sleepy, said i was going to stay in.

10:[something]AM: woke and saw clock. thought ‘great, up early, i’ll sleep for another ten minutes.’

1:37PM: woke. feeling groggy. alec and his friends are driving back to rhode island tonight, i just read in a new message. he asked if i wanted to come too.

2:49PM: ate half a ‘personal-sized’ watermelon, 800mg choline, 1.2g aniracetam, 800mg phethylamine. driving to rhode island at 6PM. ‘personal jesus’ by depeche mode is playing in my head only it’s ‘your own…personal…melon.’ this sometimes happens when i think about ‘personal-sized’ melons.

3:17PM: before leaving: buy cat food, e-cigarette cartridges, shower, pack clothes. shit. packing. gonna get moving with this.

5:57PM: two women walked behind me as i walked from pickles & pies to waldbaum’s. one said ‘i got a grandson that’s 18 years old. pshh, i ain’t got time for this!’

saw a gold cube on the ground in the post office parking lot. it was near where the woman in the cape yelled ‘asshole’ at me. picked it up. think it’s a bouillon cube. cube of bouillon. considered putting it back, in case a homeless person wanted to use it in their food, then thought ‘no one will ever see it. this is my cube.’

in waldbaum’s a dad-looking guy pushing a shopping cart said ‘what kind of soda does shannon like?’ someone said ‘sprite.’ he said ‘i won’t get sprite then.’

the girl i like, candy’s friend who used the ‘store card’ for me and doesn’t move her face much, was monitoring the self-checkout line. when i passed her to exit the sun was hitting the back of her head and she was smiling at whoever was talking to her. it was nice to see her smile.