the only thing i remember about her speech was her leaning over the podium and talking about a rabbit with a carrot on a stick/rope device strapped to its head

the leaning motion looks exaggerated in my memory, her head gets bigger and she makes dictator gestures…she was a small person…‘fiesty’…fluffy head…

does it sound like i’m shittaking her? i’m not. she was one of my favorite teachers. i liked it when she did the thing before everyone graduated, i liked graduating high school

‘i liked graduating high school’

why is that funny to me

three-minute youtube commercial featuring hundreds of celebrities making eye contact with the camera, earnestly saying ‘i liked graduating high school.’ you can’t fast-forward it, you have to watch

it’s for the global…‘global help fund’

‘global help fund’ charity benefit gala evening, brought to you in part by CLGHS (celebrities who liked graduating high school)

too far…too far…went too far with it…

do i sound like i’m shittalking my parents…i’m not…did that thing earlier sound shittalky…shit

there’s no way to change what you think, whoever you are, if you already decided something

2:04PM: dad left a voicemail from a number that isn’t stored in my phone. in the first 14 seconds he apologized three times for being half-asleep when we talked last night. didn’t know he was half-asleep.

trying to learn english at this age would be very hard.

3:27PM: administered another round of windex to fruit flies in kitchen. have been mentally referring to this as ‘doing the genocide.’ nostalgic for summer 2011 when i did a similar ant genocide thing at dad’s place. had forgotten it also involved windex. fed cats.

stuff i thought while doing the genocide:

•  respond to texts at 3:30PM in honor of 2:30PM, the one-hour anniversary of when you said you’d do that.

•  ‘all is quiet on the jordan front’

•  the thing i do with the dry food. it’s like, ‘the retard rotator.’ pouring the dry food from the bowl they don’t eat from as much into the emptier bowl. why do i have two bowls. ‘retard rotator:’ shaking it up. a gruff dirty man in a wifebeater who only leaves his la-z-boy once a day to do ‘the retard rotator’ for his cats. he calls them ‘retards’…affectionately? derogatorily? he like, yells ‘ey you fucking retahds’ so many times a day he doesn’t even know what he’s saying or who he’s yelling at anymore. he and his cats equally don’t know what he’s saying. no one notices, it’s like all the other noises in the room.