7:20pm: entered apartment. he said ‘we’ll make it for final jeopardy.’ Watched a little. I think it was college jeopardy. Had sex. Orgasmed twice with finger up my ass ‘reverse cowgirl style,’ fingering myself

Zachary said ‘I like your back.’ I said ‘even with all the marks on it?’ He said something about liking the shape. I said something about wanting a fatter ass.

MAY 22, 2013

1:10am: woke ate 1mg Xanax apple pie thing

12am: woke ate more Xanax think I said ‘I want to get a sandwich.’ Zachary said ‘we’re not getting a sandwich.’ Toasted bread and made salad with cucumber, pepper, chickpeas, avocado. Watched ‘the office’ and ‘king of the hill.’

4am: woke again ate 2mg xanax

9am: woke confused. I said something like ‘are you my boyfriend,’ unsure/foggy. Zachary seemed upset I asked

At some point in my apartment, maybe the night before, I said I was still doing the liveblog and he said ‘oh, so this’ll be in it’

At some point he said something about how I wasn’t writing for vice anymore and made a noise like ‘that’s what I thought’ when I said I hadn’t officially said I was stopping, I wasn’t sure I wanted to stop, I had nothing more to write

Got ready assembled Masha package

Went to Duane reade

Got gas

1:18pm: dropped him off at Jamie’s and his place. He said Jamie’s e-cigarettes were better and they sold them at a deli near her. Parked. Bought e-cigarette Jamie uses, ‘logic’ brand. Said ‘see you soon’ to Zachary’s body, mostly half-out the car. He said ‘yeah I’ll see you around kid.’

1:19pm: ate 20mg adderall going to navy place in manhattan

2:06pm: parked on church and Barclay in a parking lot. Street parking seemed impossible. Don’t want another ticket. Told parking man I would be a couple hours. Chugged 16oz red bull. Hid e-cigarette in birth control packet.