WHY IT’S FUN NOT TO SLEEP: everything is funnier; you can use this time to do the fun stuff you kept forbidding yourself to do earlier; body/brain feel dynamic and shifting around a lot; being extreme feels good; everything is quiet; you know what to expect from artificial light; don’t know why my body wants me to do it/seems sneaky of body.

3:30AM: pictured kramer sliding through jerry’s door going ‘i got a case-a the rapes, man! hacheecheecha!’ and a few moments later jullian assange is wheeled into the room from his wheelchair which is more like a ‘sitting sled’ pulled by expensive exotic cats.

3:33AM: the last time i smoked weed i was on cocaine and very little sleep also, i think. remember feeling like everything was a game show. i kept interrupting conversations to say what would happen on the game show next.

6:20AM: answered ask.fm questions. ate maybe 15mg adderall. in bedroom at dad’s. just thought ‘wonder when i’ll go inside the mall, i’ve been in this parking lot for a while.’

7:55AM: ate an amount of noopept. miss the goddamned mini-scooper. micro-scooper. briefly started writing dad’s birthday card as if i was thanking myself for being alive for 27 years.

8:09AM: throw a little time in there why not. there are people who. jesus. tried to form thought from images of ‘screaming nu-metal man against firey background’ and ‘pick-up truck in driveway’ and ‘gravestone’ and ‘people actually try to do this after they die.’

9:53AM: made coffee. gave dad birthday card. thought something like ‘they’ll find the liveblog, someone 1000 years from now will find it somehow,’ then ‘it doesn’t matter that i’m me, that i ended up in me, body is just the spaceship i get to drive around until it’s dead.’

10:00AM: people will laugh really hard at a picture of a face sometimes. candid facial expressions. that’s all it takes sometimes.

10:08PM: laying on back on bed.

10:09AM: there are some faces i see for the first time and it feels like i’ve seen them like 500 times but for the first time, every time.

10:11AM: it would be good if you were here so i could sing this part of a pearl jam song and you could tell me what it’s called. it sounds like, middle-eastern. ‘nr-nr-nrr-nr-nrr-nr.’

to my eyes right now this looks like a cartoon: ‘nr-nr-nrr-nr-nrr-nr.’

eddie vedder’s face is like the charmander to DFW’s charizard

imagine how annoying all the women who’ve had one night stands with DFW are

they’re like ‘yeah, but you know what? all of that aside, it really was perfect that it happened that way’

10:23AM: losing…something…grip on something…you can only achieve this level of consciousness by staying awake and letting time move through you. there is no short-cut to no-sleep consciousness except maybe an equally large dose of LSD and xanax.