Maggie nodded and clapped her hands together with glee; hearing a more unusual birth plan seemed akin to Christmas to her. ‘How wonderful!’ she exclaimed. ‘That’s fantastic. You’ve clearly spent a great deal of time thinking about this. We’d all love to hear more, I’m sure.’ I wasn’t sure I did, but Maggie looked desperate for further elaboration.

Susie launched into a detailed monologue on how ‘placenta parties’ were a big trend in areas of San Francisco, where they simply popped the ‘delicacy’ into a blender along with whatever fruit, veg, even alcohol, they fancied and whizzed it up into a nutritional ‘placenta smoothie’ to be shared with family and friends. It sounded quite bizarre.

Relieved the heat was off me while she spoke, my attention wandered and I took the opportunity to look around the room properly.

It was then that I spotted an array of pretty plates and ceramic dishes brimming with salads and cakes laid out on the table behind us. I thought again of the shop-bought ciabattas under my chair. If Jason had been here, I could have nudged him to take them up, but as it was I felt too self-conscious to stand up and make another fuss after my late arrival. Under my chair they would have to remain.

As Susie’s lengthy explanation of the nutritional merits of eating human placenta came to a close, we all turned to look at the couple to Maggie’s right, a pretty blonde woman with elfin features and her equally blond, small husband. They were holding hands and looked very young, probably mid-twenties. I could imagine the petite, blonde, blue-eyed little baby they were cooking up in that perfectly neat bump. They introduced themselves as Helen and Ian Edwards.

Ian spoke first; he had a timid voice and piercing blue eyes. He reminded me of a gerbil. ‘Hi everyone, we’re having our first baby. Well I guess that’s pretty obvious, this is a group for first-time parents!’ he said, before laughing nervously. ‘We are thirty-five weeks. Don’t know the sex and College Square Hospital for us, too.’ He turned to Helen: ‘Anything you want to add, babe?’

‘No, that’s it,’ Helen replied self-consciously, before shrugging and smiling at no one in particular and then fixing her eyes on the floor. I smiled back at her; she seemed sweet and strait-laced. But maybe I was being too quick to judge. She might have a naughty streak.

‘That’s fine, dears,’ Maggie said, trying to mask her disappointment that there wasn’t another juicy set-up or alternative birth plan to discuss. ‘Welcome to The Baby Group.’

Next was the woman who had given me a friendly smile earlier. She looked well put-together, with red lipstick, a neat flick to her eyeliner, fresh highlights in her tousled shoulder-length hair and a black Gucci handbag. She gave the impression of someone who had a successful career and a decent amount of savings in the bank. Of everyone, she was probably the closest in age to me (around her mid to late thirties), which made me instinctively gravitate towards her.