‘Not like you,’ he exclaimed jokily. And then I heard him kick off his shoes and come padding up the stairs to find me.

‘Well, if you must know, I also fell asleep.’

I stretched backwards, giving my body a little reprieve, and made a mental note to check whether there was a drop-in yoga class I could make tomorrow. Yoga always helped me to feel calmer.

‘Nothing wrong with a little nap,’ Oscar smiled. ‘And I see nesting extends to filing. I like it.’ His eyes wandered to the open filing cabinet.

‘I was going to slim down the paperwork and ended up looking through some old bits and pieces,’ I explained, motioning to a folder sticking out of the drawer, the one containing his divorce papers.

‘Let’s put it all away now…’ Oscar pushed the file back down.

‘Right,’ I smiled, watching him close the drawer.

Chapter Seventeen

Aisha

Wednesday 12^th May

Jason had been very quiet since we’d arrived at the fifth and final Baby Group meeting, a shorter evening session back in the room at the local church. It had been a battle getting him to attend it at all. I knew he was tired from work, but he’d behaved like a petulant teenager, asking silly questions about whether everyone else was going to be there, how long it would last and so on. I was so cross.

‘You can’t do this to me, Jason, not after last week,’ I had fumed, panic-stricken, as I practically forced him out of the front door.

‘I wasn’t well!’ he’d exclaimed, as if I was being ridiculous.

‘So what’s your excuse this time? What are you afraid of Jason – are you getting cold feet?’

‘It’s not that,’ he had snapped. ‘I’m just exhausted.’ He’d seemed on the edge, emotional.

I wasn’t convinced.

‘It’s Movie Night!’ Maggie declared enthusiastically, making small talk while we waited for the last two couples to arrive. ‘Baby Group-style. We are going to be watching a live birth and talking about the first few weeks as new parents.’

I immediately felt anxious about being made to watch something as intimate as a birth with a room full of people. I was easily embarrassed, and seeing full-scale nudity in this environment gave me sweaty palms.

To pass the time, Maggie asked Jason an innocent question about whether he was planning to take any paternity leave, but he didn’t seem to hear her – he was looking at his phone.

‘Any plans to take paternity leave?’ she asked again, more loudly and slightly irritated this time.

I kicked his foot.

Jason coughed into life, but his voice came out sounding hoarse. I suspected he’d been smoking this week. Although he claimed to have stopped the habit when I got pregnant, I recognized that gravelly cough and had noticed the faint smell of tobacco on his coat.

‘Oh, sorry,’ he said eventually, pushing his phone into his coat pocket. ‘What was the question?’ Six pairs of eyes looked at him.