My arms automatically stretched out to reach for my baby. Joni was awake and her head turned in the carrier as she heard my voice. ‘Thank God, you’re okay, my baby girl!’ I tenderly caressed the top of her head, stroked her cheek, double-checked it was really her and she was safe. Of course it was her. Relief slowly began to wash through me. ‘Oh darling, thank goodness you are okay.’

Then I turned my attention to Jason, who was now looking shocked by my reaction to seeing him. ‘What the fuck were you thinking? Breaking in here and taking her like that?’

‘You didn’t see the note, then,’ he said, his calmness only accentuating my hysteria. ‘I got off work early. You were sound asleep, I rang on the doorbell but there was no answer, so I let myself in.’ I had almost forgotten he still had door keys. ‘I was early, so at first I assumed you were out and thought I’d wait for you here. When I came in, I heard Joni stirring in her cot, and saw you were fast asleep. So I left a note on the kitchen table and took her out for a walk. We’ve only been gone ten minutes, Aisha. I thought I was doing you a favour, letting you have some extra sleep.’

How dare he make me feel ridiculous with this rational explanation? Relief was now turning into anger. But it felt as though I wasn’t really here – that I was watching some other hysterical woman who was close to losing the plot. This couldn’t be me. This couldn’t have happened to my life. Could it?

Just then Lucy appeared behind him at the door. She was last person I wanted to see.

‘Is everything okay?’ she asked, looking at me. She could clearly see that Joni was here, with Jason.

I gaped at her. Where to begin?

Joni began to struggle in the carrier and my heart lurched for her. ‘Pass her to me,’ I ordered, as Jason obediently unclipped the carrier and loosened the straps so I could lift Joni’s wriggling body out. I pulled her free and held her tightly against my chest, breathing in the comforting scent of the top of her head. She gave a little hungry cry.

As I turned to take her upstairs, I looked at the two adults by the door. They looked forlorn, scared with shadows beneath their eyes and no spark. At least I now knew that neither of them were psychotic baby kidnappers on top of being adulterers. That was something. Fired up from the emotion of the last minutes, I took a deep breath and then it was as if an other-worldly power took hold. I decided that if anyone was going to ‘own’ this moment it was me. The moment had come and they both owed it to me to tell the truth.

‘Come in, both of you,’ I said. ‘It’s time to talk.’

Jason immediately went to the kitchen to make coffee and I set about heating up a bottle for Joni. I noticed small beads of sweat on his nose; he was nervous too. My hands suddenly felt clammy. For a second, seeing Jason standing there, back in our flat, as if things were normal, I felt conflicted. Part of me could have folded him into my arms and given him a big hug. Then my mind flashed to an image of him and Lucy in this very room and fury began to erupt.