‘After that night with Jason, when I had IVF the next day, it gave me a renewed hope that motherhood could be a reality for me. And coupled with seeing Jason, the timing of it so uncanny, I had the romantic idea that fate had brought us together and maybe we were meant to be together after all, whether or not he was the biological father of my baby. I thought we might have a chance of the future we lost twenty years ago. But I was so wrong.’ I stopped, took a deep breath and dared to reach for Oscar’s hand, ‘It was only ever you, Oscar. You are the one I love more than anything.’

‘Jason must have been petrified when he saw you there, in The Baby Group,’ Oscar said, almost comically, allowing my hand to gently rest on his for a few moments before he moved it. ‘But Lucy, if you felt all this, why did you continue going to the group?’

‘Because there was no return. You can’t just turn up like that and then just casually disappear in a puff of smoke.’

‘You can if you want to!’ Oscar snapped, startling me.

‘I had made a good friend there,’ I mumbled. ‘Getting close to Aisha made everything a million times harder. Some part of me thought we could be friends – as mad as that sounds.’

Then I told him how Jason had confronted me in the hallway when I’d gone to the Ladies’ during one Baby Group session before he made a swift exit, and then he texted me trying to arrange a time for us to talk. I put him off. I was scared of Aisha finding out. At first he had warned me off – he had ordered me to ‘Stay away from his wife!’, and then he had started demanding a paternity test. He was threatening. I was terrified – not only for my own safety, but for Albie too. I told Oscar that Jason and I had taken a DIY paternity test and the results were expected in a few days. Although my instinct was that Jason had not fathered Albie, I knew that we all needed to know the definitive truth.

‘But whatever the result,’ I reasoned, ‘the big – and most important – thing I’ve realized since having Albie, is that it doesn’t matter who the real father is. We will probably never know who Albie’s real dad is because I opted for an anonymous donor. But actions are more important than biology. Oscar, you are more of a father to Albie than anyone could ever be. He is so lucky to have you in his life.’

I stopped again to catch my breath and simultaneously try to read Oscar’s face. Tears bubbled to the surface. I felt desperate. Desperate for him and any reassurance that he still cared about me and Albie. My voice faltered as I went on: ‘Please believe me when I tell you that I didn’t mean any harm. Please believe that I love you, Oscar – I love you with all my heart, and I can only imagine Albie and me growing old with you.’ My voice trailed off into little more than a quiet whisper as I uttered, ‘I am so sorry.’