Chapter Three

Lucy

I hoped I hadn’t made too much of an effort with my appearance, wearing a new black maternity dress bought especially for this occasion, new 40-denier tights and my trusty Golden Goose trainers. I’d applied more make-up than I’d worn in previous weeks, including a neat cat-eye flick to my eyeliner and a slick of a new scarlet Urban Decay lipstick. There was nothing like red lippy to put a spring in my step, even if those steps were more of a waddle, and my stomach was full of fluttering butterflies, as well as a baby. I’d given myself an eight out of ten, and hoped that my smart appearance would help me to give a good impression. The day had come to go forth and see if I could make a friend, or two.

Once the introductions and discussions about birth plans were done, we broke for lunch.

I watched with pleasure and relief as everyone made appreciative noises as they tucked in to my salad. It was the only dish that was completely polished off and I couldn’t help feeling a little smug. I played down the fact it had taken me nearly all of yesterday to create and actually felt a bit silly for having put in so much effort, when clearly most of them had bought their offerings from a shop that morning. When Helen and Susie asked me about the ingredients, I told them it was a family recipe. Helen and Ian had brought a pasta salad with tuna, cherry tomatoes and sweetcorn. The tuna had started to turn brown, since it had been left out all morning. I felt sorry for them as it was barely touched, but there was no way I was going to risk eating it.

Aisha wasn’t much of a cook either, judging by the shop-bought ciabattas. She seemed to be a little embarrassed because she set them down on a pretty plate, blurted out that she hadn’t read the part of the letter about bringing a sharing dish until this morning, and then made an excuse to get some fresh air. She needn’t have worried though, because they were delicious and all gone within a matter of minutes. Will and Carol had supplied deli-counter offerings from the big Sainsbury’s, so my biggest rivals for ‘dish of the day’ were Susie and Lin, whose decision to bring dessert would have been a good one, only their box of ‘vegan superfood brownies’ tasted more like bird food than the glorious stodgy ‘proper’ brownies from Gail’s bakery down the road. What a wasted opportunity – with a room full of pregnant ladies, chocolate brownies would have been a much better idea.

I checked my phone while everyone else continued chatting and saw that Oscar had WhatsApped.

O: How did the salad go down?

Me: Really well, thank goodness.

O: Excellent. How is it then?

Me: Fine. Although the teacher is obsessed with vaginas.

O: A woman after my own heart.

Me: Haha.

O: Well I suppose it’s a legit thing for a midwife to be obsessed with.

Me: True

O: I’m thinking about your vagina now.

Me: Are you on the plane? Are you drunk already?

O: Yes and slightly. I wish you could join the mile-high club with me. I miss you.

Me: You’ve only just gone! But you’ll be back soon enough. Class is about to start again – me and my vagina had better go.

O: Call you when I land.

Me: OK, safe flight.

O: Still thinking about your vagina.