“Who gives a fuck,” says Sergej. “The point is protecting your lives and those of your family. We’ll be threatened from all sides. For one, by foreigners who will soon be on the way to our island. A hundred million Africans are expected, as is emerging from secret documents. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Next will be two hundred million Bangladeshi refugees, all arranged by China.” The team nods. No fucking clue where Bangladesh is. “Secret government files refer to a billion refugees who will come to Europe and Great Britain. This is an existential threat to our environment and Lebensraum. The technical scenarios don’t look any better. Pandemics are to be expected, nuclear accidents, and the most acute threat is EMP bombs. Which knock out the electricity. Just imagine. You’re sitting at home. Sirens. No water, no electricity. You’re in the dark. Do you have supplies on hand? No. Medicines? No. Oxygen? It won’t be long before shops are looted, your women raped, and then people will eat each other. How are you prepared in the barely insulated little cell you call your flat, which is linked to a nuclear power plant? It doesn’t even have to be an atomic megadisaster. Have you ever thought about what it’s like to live just two weeks without electricity? Toilet flushing, water, lighting, heat, mobile phones, internet—everything out. Long-haul transport, and with it no deliveries of goods; without pumps gasoline can’t be used or transported. Refrigeration will be interrupted and anything perishable will go bad. That’ll stink. How will you survive when the pharmacies are empty and the hospitals overwhelmed? I’ll tell you. You won’t survive. Because you’re weak. So—I’ll pass out a list at the end of training with everything you need to have on hand. Gold, silver, salt, honey, medicines, alcohol, tobacco, coffee, et cetera. Everything that’s valued during and immediately after wars.” The attendees are having the shit scared out of them.

“Today is about killing,”

Says Sergej.

The attendees blink. Killing, mate, that’s a bit over the top. They had pictured crawling through some mud. A couple of homoerotic defense training exercises. But killing straightaway? Nobody here wants to kill. Actually. They’re just poor men. Not the brightest. Who only wanted to do a few manly things without getting any karma points deducted. So, killing then.