It’s a nothing part of town. There’s not even a Selfridges. Or a normal, go ahead and say it, chemist’s. No Amazon or Google shops, and they still use cash. Where the hell do they get cash? What kind of rags are those they sell there, crumpled up old kaftans? Anyway,

That’s where I found myself. In Luton, amid large families wearing nightgowns and sacks. The name Mohamed was more common than William, just a random aside. Should I keep talking?”

Silence in the room. White walls. Fluorescent lights no longer hum; today they’re energy-saving bulbs that don’t hum. “Fine. I’ll keep talking,” says the lab director.

“During the first few weeks in my one-room flat in Luton, fucking Luton, with a view of the interior courtyard, kitted out with a hot plate, the bathroom had a shower at least, I tried in the good, enlightened way of a social democrat to get to know the new neighborhood. But—

The new neighborhood ignores me. The young men spit on the ground, the women are veiled. Why do they all shuffle about so? Where are they shuffling to? Nothing but Arabic script, ugly people, garbage in the streets, they slaughter animals in their flats, flats they’ve taken away from British people, animals that are probably smarter than they are themselves. No cafés, prayer beads. Demonstrations for Allah. And always acting insulted. Pulling in a basic income, driving a swank car and still whining. More, more, more. And blowing themselves up and driving lorries into people.”

Speaking of

Cafés,

They wanted to meet up in the city, Karen and

DON

Who is sitting on a chair in front of one, without drinking anything, why should you always be pouring things into your body, it’s really not that exciting after all, filling yourself with liquids, unless it’s alcohol, which fucks up your vision and makes you embarrassing. But take heed. Alcohol consumption by the citizenry is assessed favorably, but any peculiar behavior in public spaces, that is, spaces that are for public use but which are actually private, what the hell are you supposed to call those spaces, carries with it penalties that can vary from having one’s hot water shut off to a reduction in food allotments. So drink at home. Which leads to the risk of waiting, as a rummy, twenty-four hours at the hospital instead of nine.