Stormy again. These strange weather events alternated so quickly. Wind and rain, flooding and frost. People held paving stone–sized hailstones in their hands and took selfies in canoes as they paddled on rivers that were actually streets, they made V for victory signs and laughed.

Although—

There were

Days when the children couldn’t even go out on the street, couldn’t go out on the roof, and squatted haplessly in the entryway of the shelter. Lost in their own memories. Lost in hate for those memories and the people in them. Hate for their own weakness.

And

They began to worry about Karen. She didn’t respond to any calls. She wasn’t home. Nobody except Karen’s stupid brothers there. Her big brother now wore a long nightgown and a beard, her little brother was attached to a portable ventilator. The children allayed their fears with the thought that Karen was having sex in old factories and driving to the lake on the weekend with her fantastic boyfriend, she was just so busy, the way it probably is when you fall in love for the first time, something the others had not yet experienced. And that is just

Brilliant,

Thought

KAREN

A hundred men later, a hundred pills and bumps of coke later. It’s brilliant that I’m alert. Thought Karen, and was alert. Perhaps because her body had developed a tolerance to the drugs or because something in her wanted to survive. Karen had no clue as to how long it had been, as the time had merged together into a continuous film loop of fog, babble, kisses, Captagon, crystal meth, sperm, alcohol, and things Karen couldn’t even name, in which she was able to see herself in moments of clarity. While walking on the street, lying on mattresses, bleeding from orifices, nightly. Mentally present only for short periods. Just as dementia patients snap to for a few seconds before they sink back into forgetfulness. Patuk was always there. He had other women, girls; Karen could have screamed, not because she was being abused but because he was together with other girls, but

No screams ever came, she was too dazed, too absent, and what she wanted to scream sat up in a tree somewhere and looked down at her. Since the beginning of her love—pause—seriously?

Patuk had monitored Karen, topped up the drugs when she threatened to come out of her haze, soothed her when she cried, threatened when she wanted to leave. He had really not been with her only during a few hours of sleep and during classes. At first. When Karen was still going to school. Before her duties had intensified.