Chapters (123)
- Title
- Author’s Note
- FROM THE PERVY HEART OF THE AUTHOR
- Dedication
- PROLOGUE
- MAC
- 1. A Front Yard Steroid Scandal
- A FRONT YARD STEROID SCANDAL
- HOLLYWOOD
- 2. Welcome Home, Noodle Arms
- WELCOME HOME, NOODLE ARMS
- MAC
- 3. Run With Scissors, Douche
- RUN WITH SCISSORS, DOUCHE
- HOLLYWOOD
- 4. Selfless Waffle Consumption
- SELFLESS WAFFLE CONSUMPTION
- HOLLYWOOD
- 5. All You Can Smell at the Olfactory Barbecue
- ALL YOU CAN SMELL AT THE OLFACTORY BARBECUE
- MAC
- 6. Laughter. Comradery. Happiness. Cheese
- LAUGHTER. COMRADERY. HAPPINESS. CHEESE
- MAC
- 7. Mrs. Butterworth, Still a Syrup Slut
- MRS. BUTTERWORTH, STILL A SYRUP SLUT
- HOLLYWOOD
- 8. Pickles, Bears, Blowtorch Redecorating
- PICKLES, BEARS, BLOWTORCH REDECORATING
- MAC
- 9. True Crime, Cauliflower Edition
- TRUE CRIME, CAULIFLOWER EDITION
- HOLLYWOOD
- 10. Payback is a Bitch… Or a Steak
- PAYBACK IS A BITCH… OR A STEAK
- MAC
- 11. Serial Killers Prefer Poached Eggs
- SERIAL KILLERS PREFER POACHED EGGS
- MAC
- 12. Sorry About All the Sorries
- SORRY ABOUT ALL THE SORRIES
- MAC
- 13. Beep
- BEEP
- MAC
- 14. Finally
- FINALLY
- MAC
- 15. Whatever You Say
- WHATEVER YOU SAY
- MAC
- 16. Never Underestimate the Power of Snacks
- NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF SNACKS
- HOLLYWOOD
- 17. Gimme a Hand, Neighbor
- GIMME A HAND, NEIGHBOR
- MAC
- 18. Teddy Bears Are Always Watching
- TEDDY BEARS ARE ALWAYS WATCHING
- MAC
- 19. Did You Try Turning Her Off and Back On Again
- DID YOU TRY TURNING HER OFF AND BACK ON AGAIN
- MAC
- 20. Tasteful Boobies
- TASTEFUL BOOBIES
- MAC
- 21. Some More Light Kidnapping
- SOME MORE LIGHT KIDNAPPING
- HOLLYWOOD
- 22. Best Wakeup Call
- BEST WAKEUP CALL
- MAC
- 23. 90s Nostalgia Snack
- 90S NOSTALGIA SNACK
- HOLLYWOOD
- 24. No One Does Honest Like a Kid
- NO ONE DOES HONEST LIKE A KID
- HOLLYWOOD
- 25. Karma Likes to Run
- KARMA LIKES TO RUN
- MAC
- 26. Haunted
- HAUNTED
- HOLLYWOOD
- 27. Fuck the Bad Days Away
- FUCK THE BAD DAYS AWAY
- MAC
- 28. Good Dates Include Leather and Head
- GOOD DATES INCLUDE LEATHER AND HEAD
- HOLLYWOOD
- 29. Fantasies Can Come True
- FANTASIES CAN COME TRUE
- MAC
- 30. A Little Casual Attempted Murder
- A LITTLE CASUAL ATTEMPTED MURDER
- HOLLYWOOD
- 31. Beep Part Two
- BEEP PART TWO
- MAC
- 32. Time for Hope
- TIME FOR HOPE
- MAC
- 33. Knights on Chrome and Steel
- KNIGHTS ON CHROME AND STEEL
- MAC
- 34. Strong
- STRONG
- HOLLYWOOD
- 35. Pushing Buttons
- PUSHING BUTTONS
- HOLLYWOOD
- EPILOGUE
- MAC
- HYDE AND SEEK
- CHAPTER ONE
- CONNECT WITH LAYLA FROST
- TITLES BY LAYLA FROST
- THE DILLON SISTERS
- THE FOUR
- THE HYDE SERIES
- COURT OF MAYHEM
- STANDALONES
- ABOUT THE AUTHOR
“Can’t make any promises,” I called back.
But when I ate, I did it while watching something else.
It was the least I could do in return for the best fried chicken and sides I’d ever had.
* * *
“Hey, neighbor,” Ward greeted as he pushed through the door I cracked open. He kept going, carrying whatever into the kitchen.
I followed, watching speechlessly as he opened my cupboards and pulled out plates and utensils.
“You watch our show last night?” When I didn’t answer, he turned. “Mac.”
“What?” I gave my head a little shake. “What’re you doing?”
“Plating up dinner. Greek chicken.”
I should’ve argued. He didn’t need to bring me food every night. I had a perfectly acceptable frozen dinner that I could microwave, no actual cooking necessary.
He especially didn’t need to waste his night hanging out with me.
I liked being alone. It wasn’t a big deal.
But as I watched him plate up a fresh batch of the grilled romaine, I pressed my lips together.
I would tell him to knock it off.
Later.
After dinner.
And popcorn.
* * *
Hollywood
“She said your fried chicken is the best thing she’s ever eaten.”
At my words, Swedes pulled his attention away from the worn deck of cards he shuffled. “Yeah? And? Anyone with taste buds knows it’s better than that bland, mass-produced crap served in paper buckets with dry-ass biscuits.”
“Not the best chicken she’s ever had,” I said. “Best thing. Period. Which is bullshit ’cause I just made her steak.”
That didn’t make Swedes smile. It made him grin as he puffed his chest out. “Not surprised.”
Might not be surprised, but he was pleased as fuckin’ punch. Bet he’d make her a fresh batch every day if she asked, just to hear her praise.
Sitting down at the table across from him, I clicked my pen. “Tell me you’ve got a good pasta and vegetable recipe. Something with broccoli and spinach. Shit that’s good for her.”
He signaled for me to toss over the pad of paper and pen, but he didn’t start writing. His gaze narrowed, and he threatened, “If you share these recipes, I’ll have a bunny rub Carolina reaper pepper on your dick and then waffle iron it. And that’s as close as you’ll ever get to one of my waffles again.”
The threat wasn’t empty—Swedes didn’t share his carefully guarded recipes with anyone. But it also didn’t matter. I wouldn’t share his secrets.
And a bunny wasn’t getting close enough to my dick to exact that revenge.
Even so, I couldn’t fight a wince, my dick hurting at just the idea.
“You have my word,” I said.