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Chapters (108)
  1. Cover
  2. ALSO BY JILL SANTOPOLO
  3. Dedication
  4. i
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. ii
  8. 3
  9. iii
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. iv
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. v
  16. 8
  17. vi
  18. 9
  19. vii
  20. 10
  21. 11
  22. viii
  23. 12
  24. ix
  25. 13
  26. x
  27. 14
  28. xi
  29. 15
  30. xii
  31. 16
  32. xiii
  33. 17
  34. xiv
  35. xv
  36. 18
  37. xvi
  38. 19
  39. xvii
  40. 20
  41. 21
  42. xviii
  43. 22
  44. 23
  45. xix
  46. 24
  47. xx
  48. 25
  49. xxi
  50. 26
  51. 27
  52. xxii
  53. 28
  54. 29
  55. 30
  56. xxiii
  57. 31
  58. 32
  59. 33
  60. xxiv
  61. 34
  62. xxv
  63. 35
  64. xxvi
  65. 36
  66. xxvii
  67. 37
  68. 38
  69. xxviii
  70. 39
  71. xxix
  72. 40
  73. xxx
  74. 41
  75. xxxi
  76. 42
  77. 43
  78. 44
  79. xxxii
  80. 45
  81. 46
  82. 47
  83. 48
  84. 49
  85. 50
  86. 51
  87. 52
  88. 53
  89. 54
  90. 55
  91. 56
  92. 57
  93. 58
  94. 59
  95. 60
  96. 61
  97. 62
  98. 63
  99. 64
  100. 65
  101. 66
  102. 67
  103. 68
  104. 69
  105. xxxiii
  106. acknowledgments
  107. about the author
  108. What’s next onyour reading list?

“So, I guess tomorrow night’s invitation is just for you, then,” he added, looking like he wanted to say something more but held himself back.

“I guess so,” Emily answered.

Rob handed her back her phone. She could feel the tension rising between them.

“You know how my mom always said things will be okay in the end?”

Emily nodded.

“Well, if things aren’t okay, it’s not the end. For you, either.” He looked at her meaningfully.

Emily knew what he was dancing around, what he was trying to say. And if she were smart, she would tell him that everything was fine. But that would feel like a lie. And he’d know it. So instead she said, “Thank you.”

“Let me know about tomorrow night, okay?” he said.

“I will,” she told him. “And . . . if I don’t make it tomorrow, it was great to see you. Truly.”

He bent toward her and hugged her, and held on tight.

She wanted to hold him just as tight.

But she didn’t.

xxv

Your aunt Ari got married today. I keep thinking that you would’ve been five years old. You could’ve been the flower girl or the ring bearer. You would’ve been dressed up fancy, pink-cheeked and smiling in the photos. Or maybe you would’ve been scared, hiding behind my leg or clinging to my skirt. Ari’s husband, Jack, has a sister with two kids, and seeing them run around—I haven’t thought about you this much in years. It was like you were at that wedding with me, in my heart, in my mind.

I wish your grandma could’ve been there. Ari asked me to walk her down the aisle along with our dad. She said that since we were such a team, it wouldn’t feel right for me to walk with someone else on her wedding day. So she had one of us on each side. When we got up to the front of the aisle, and we walked ahead of her underneath the chuppah, Jack whispered to me: “I promise you I’ll never get between you and your sister. She loves you so much.”

“She loves you, too, Jack,” I told him. “And I’m so happy to have a brother.”

It would’ve been nice to have a date to their wedding, but I haven’t dated anyone since your dad. I kept telling myself it’s because I’ve been working so hard in school, but the truth is, I’ve been scared. I’m still scared. So scared that I’ll get hurt again. So scared that I’ll hurt someone else.