They were close enough that their breath mingled. In that moment, kissing him seemed inevitable. He leaned forward just a fraction and she met his lips. His passion filled her with warmth, with hope, with desire. She felt loved.

Their lips broke apart. “My Queenie,” Rob whispered, as if in awe of what had just happened.

“My R—” was on the tip of her tongue, but then Ezra’s words came to her. The ones he said at their wedding. I will do all I can to give you my best self until the end of my days. And she’d said them back. They were vows they both took, that they both wrote together. This was not her best self.

She stepped away, her lips no longer a whisper from his. “I can’t,” she said. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

And that was when she started to cry.

“Queenie,” Rob said. “Emily.” He looked like he wanted to hold her again, comfort her, find whatever had just been lost, but he knew he shouldn’t. His arms hung, useless, at his sides.

Emily felt panicked, her heart a hummingbird against her rib cage, her stomach twisting with guilt. “I’ve got to go home,” Emily said, mascara running down her cheeks. “This was all a huge mistake.”

There were so many things Rob wanted to say, but he chose the simplest. “Okay,” he said. “I’m sorry if I pushed too far. If I read into something that wasn’t there.”

He hadn’t. That was the problem. He hadn’t.

But she wouldn’t tell him that.

Instead she said, “Thank you for showing me another way to see myself. But this is the life I chose.” It was all she could do to keep her voice from shaking, to keep from falling apart completely.

He nodded, not taking a step closer, staying where he was, hands still at his sides, as if it took every ounce of his concentration to keep them there. “If you ever . . .”

She took a deep breath. “You know how to get back to your hotel?” she answered.

He nodded. She wiped her eyes, smearing makeup across her cheek. His hand rose, just a hair, as if he wanted to fix it for her, but then it rested back at his side.

“Sleep well,” she said, biting her lip to keep her composure.

“You too,” he answered. He watched her walk away. And just like last time, she took a small piece of him with her.

43