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Chapters (108)
  1. Cover
  2. ALSO BY JILL SANTOPOLO
  3. Dedication
  4. i
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. ii
  8. 3
  9. iii
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. iv
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. v
  16. 8
  17. vi
  18. 9
  19. vii
  20. 10
  21. 11
  22. viii
  23. 12
  24. ix
  25. 13
  26. x
  27. 14
  28. xi
  29. 15
  30. xii
  31. 16
  32. xiii
  33. 17
  34. xiv
  35. xv
  36. 18
  37. xvi
  38. 19
  39. xvii
  40. 20
  41. 21
  42. xviii
  43. 22
  44. 23
  45. xix
  46. 24
  47. xx
  48. 25
  49. xxi
  50. 26
  51. 27
  52. xxii
  53. 28
  54. 29
  55. 30
  56. xxiii
  57. 31
  58. 32
  59. 33
  60. xxiv
  61. 34
  62. xxv
  63. 35
  64. xxvi
  65. 36
  66. xxvii
  67. 37
  68. 38
  69. xxviii
  70. 39
  71. xxix
  72. 40
  73. xxx
  74. 41
  75. xxxi
  76. 42
  77. 43
  78. 44
  79. xxxii
  80. 45
  81. 46
  82. 47
  83. 48
  84. 49
  85. 50
  86. 51
  87. 52
  88. 53
  89. 54
  90. 55
  91. 56
  92. 57
  93. 58
  94. 59
  95. 60
  96. 61
  97. 62
  98. 63
  99. 64
  100. 65
  101. 66
  102. 67
  103. 68
  104. 69
  105. xxxiii
  106. acknowledgments
  107. about the author
  108. What’s next onyour reading list?

“There is,” he said. “The villa is two floors, one’s on each.”

“And I would play?” She wondered if this was her chance to give it a try, to see how she felt performing, to figure out if pursuing music was worth risking her marriage, risking the life she’d built for the last decade.

“For as many songs as you’d like,” he answered.

Emily found herself nodding. Maybe she’d try it and hate it, and then she could go back to Ezra and tell him that he was right, that she’d figure out how to get her focus back at NYU, that she’d find a way to work through her fears and her failures. Every choice you make is the one you’re supposed to make rang softly in her head.

She cleared her throat. “Okay,” she said, glad that she’d grabbed the duffel bag that she always traveled with, the one that she kept her passport zipped into so she’d never forget it in a desk drawer, like a friend of hers in grad school had once done on a trip to Morocco. “I’m coming. But I’ve got my ticket. I don’t need you to pay.”

“Are you serious?” Rob asked, his voice surprised. “You’re really coming?”

“As serious as a dirge,” she told him. “I’ll call again when I know what flight I’ll be on.”

“I’ll be waiting,” Rob answered.

Then they hung up. Emily almost couldn’t believe what she’d just agreed to. But she needed this. She needed to see. Without giving herself a chance to change her mind, she opened up the web browser on her phone and bought herself a ticket to Mexico with the debit card for her solo account. Then she stared at her phone for a moment, not actually believing she’d done it. What was she thinking?

Music, she reminded herself. She was thinking about music. She was going to perform on stage. In Mexico. With Rob. And then she’d know how it felt. If it was as powerful now as she thought it would be.

When the confirmation email arrived, Emily texted her sister: Change of plans, she wrote. I’m going to Mexico for a couple of days. I’ll call from there. Love you. Then she turned off her phone. She knew Ari wouldn’t approve, knew she’d ask questions that Emily wasn’t ready to answer. She’d call Ari when she got there.

Emily swiped her MetroCard for the shuttle and started her adventure.

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