At those words my heart almost misses a beat, but not quite. Not like when I used to hear friends had become pregnant, that they had joined a club of which I couldn’t become a member, when people became embarrassed to tell Ollie and me. Now my thoughts have shifted: I’m not thinking about me and what I can’t have; I’m thinking about Carine.

‘Who … who’s the father?’ The words catch in my throat.

Fabien shakes his head, clearly unhappy. ‘Monsieur le maire,’ he replies flatly.

‘The mayor! But isn’t he …?’

Fabien nods. ‘Married.’

‘And is he …’ I swallow, thinking of Ollie and his new family ‘… planning on leaving his wife?’

Fabien again shakes his head. ‘He would never do that.’

‘What’s she going to do?’ I ask.

He shrugs. ‘It’s early days. She’s … thinking through her options.’ He takes a big sip of wine and looks out over the half-planted lavender field. ‘I’ll drop off more plants tomorrow,’ he says, changing the subject. And I wonder what’s going through his mind. He turns back to me. ‘So … about that kiss.’ He grabs the elephant in the room and puts it between us.

‘It was Stephanie. She’d developed this crush on you and I didn’t want her to think I was muscling in. I didn’t want her not to be able to trust me.’

A smile is tugging at the corners of his mouth. ‘And now?’

‘Um …’ I flush.

‘Was it really such a silly kiss?’

I look at his green eyes, with dark circles around the irises, and I want his lips on mine so much. There is a longing in me that I haven’t felt for years. A pull, a draw, a yearning to make love. I can’t remember the last time I made love that didn’t involve trying for a baby. Lovemaking between me and Ollie stopped a long time ago. We had sex, we had charts, injections, scans, more sex, but that was what it became … just sex. A means to an end and an end that became a closed-off route to us. What I want more than anything right now is to be made love to. It’s not about wanting a baby, it’s about wanting this man, with a longing I can barely hide. I look at Fabien, so much younger than me. I can’t let myself fall for him.

‘Do you think Cora will manage to close us down, at the riverside clearing?’ I say quickly, trying to distract myself and him. ‘She clearly doesn’t want us here!’

‘Ignore her! I want you here. I want you here very much!’

‘Here?’ Butterflies, like the bats flying in front of us now, flutter in my stomach.

‘Not here …’