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Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Praise for Malorie Blackman’s books
  4. Also available by Malorie Blackman for young adult readers
  5. Dedication
  6. Family Tree
  7. Epigraph
  8. NOW
  9. one. Tobey
  10. two. Libby
  11. Then
  12. three. Place Names
  13. four. Isabella Monroe
  14. five. Kellan Bruemann
  15. NOW
  16. six. Libby
  17. Daily Shouter Online
  18. Then
  19. seven. Patrix Ellerman
  20. eight. Tobey Durbridge
  21. nine. Circulating
  22. NOW
  23. ten. Troy
  24. Then
  25. eleven. Owen Dowd
  26. twelve. Eva Foxton
  27. thirteen. Tom Jeavons
  28. NOW
  29. Then
  30. fourteen. Sephy Ealing
  31. fifteen. The Night That Would Never End
  32. NOW
  33. sixteen. Sephy
  34. seventeen. Libby
  35. eighteen. Sephy
  36. nineteen. Tobey
  37. twenty. Sephy
  38. twenty-one. Libby
  39. twenty-two. Troy
  40. twenty-three. Libby
  41. twenty-four. Tobey
  42. twenty-five. Troy
  43. twenty-six. Callie
  44. twenty-seven. Tobey
  45. twenty-eight. Troy
  46. twenty-nine. Callie
  47. thirty. Sephy
  48. thirty-one. Libby
  49. thirty-two. Sephy
  50. thirty-three. Tobey
  51. thirty-four. Sephy
  52. thirty-five. Troy
  53. thirty-six. Callie
  54. thirty-seven. Tobey
  55. thirty-eight. Callie
  56. thirty-nine. Sephy
  57. forty. Tobey
  58. forty-one. Sephy
  59. forty-two. Troy
  60. forty-three. Callie
  61. forty-four. Sephy
  62. forty-five. Libby
  63. forty-six. Sephy
  64. forty-seven. Troy
  65. forty-eight. Tobey
  66. forty-nine. Sephy
  67. fifty. Libby
  68. fifty-one. Sephy
  69. fifty-two. Callie
  70. fifty-three. Tobey
  71. fifty-four. Sephy
  72. fifty-five. Troy
  73. fifty-six. Libby
  74. fifty-seven. Callie
  75. fifty-eight. Sephy
  76. fifty-nine. Tobey
  77. sixty. Callie
  78. sixty-one. Sephy
  79. sixty-two. Tobey
  80. sixty-three. Sephy
  81. sixty-four. Tobey
  82. sixty-five. Troy
  83. sixty-six. Callie
  84. THREE MONTHS LATER
  85. sixty-seven. Tobey
  86. sixty-eight. Troy
  87. sixty-nine. Callie
  88. seventy. Libby
  89. Acknowledgements
  90. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

I took another sip of my tea, remembering my wedding day two weeks ago. Even though it’d been bitterly cold outside, the orangery of our home had been decorated to look as springlike as possible – the time of new beginnings. Sol had walked me down the aisle and Tobey’s sister, Jessica, had been his best woman. It had been one of the few highlights in a dark winter. Tobey and I had agreed to delay our honeymoon until the summer holidays so that we could take Troy and Libby with us. They both needed to feel they belonged to our new family, which I believed with all my heart they did.

Libby was a revelation. I didn’t expect to take to her as much as I did. She certainly spoke her mind. She had no trouble standing her ground when she believed she was right, and was upfront in admitting when she got things wrong. I liked that. Nor was she afraid to stand up to her father and tell him when she thought he was acting like a plank. Some of their arguments got so heated that I had to intervene to cool the temperature between them. Libby was so much like him, too much sometimes, but it was good to watch the relationship between them blossom and grow.

After Mum’s funeral, Troy had filled me in on Libby’s home life with Misty and, quite frankly, what he’d revealed had given me the chills. I suspected he probably only knew a fraction of what she’d had to endure with her mother. Sometimes I looked at her and grew wistful about what might have been. She might’ve been my daughter with Tobey, rather than Misty’s, but such thoughts never lingered. I wouldn’t let them. Libby was with us now and, by a twisted quirk of fate, I was her mother. Whatever else happened, she needed to be protected from fallout and cherished, and I was determined to see to that.

Especially in light of a conversation I’d overheard that had taken place in the kitchen between Troy and Libby a few days after Mum’s funeral.

‘Libby, let’s get something straight,’ said my brother. ‘You and I are not family. We’re not even friends. Not really. We’re just two people who went through the same hell together and now we occupy the same space. I don’t have a problem with that, but don’t make us out to be more than we are.’

‘I was only—’