Over the next week, Atticus keeps talking about French food, the Louvre and the Parisian boutiques. Keeps reading him restaurant reviews. The other Dan who lives inside him is rather keen to go shopping. Would rather like a plum velvet jacket and expensive scented candles. He wants to buy aftershave that they will both wear and a silk dressing-gown for Atticus.

‘Maybe,’ he says to Atticus. ‘Maybe.’

The other Dan wants it so much that he finally asks Luke. They’ve just finished a bike ride and are both cleaning their wheels. The miles are adding up. They’re getting fitter and the calorie-counting has been wonderful. Dan feels strong and in control.

‘Can you have Fitz again?’ he asks, as Luke sprays his wheels with Muc-Off.

‘Yeah, sure.’ Luke sounds distracted and Dan is instantly worried. Where are the questions about why? Where is the cheeky grin?

‘You okay?’

Dan can’t believe he’s asking for a ribbing, but he’s never seen Luke act this way before and he doesn’t like it. It’s like the rare times when Fitz doesn’t eat his breakfast and Dan’s world tilts sideways, making him seasick.

‘Yeah, just knackered.’

He looks exhausted, Dan realizes, examining him properly for the first time in ages. ‘Do you want to stop? We don’t have to do this Ironman. We could do one another time.’

‘No, of course not. I’ll be fine.’ Luke is paying more attention to cleaning his bike than normal. Usually Dan is the one who insists on all the spraying and wiping. Normally he has nothing else to do. He does now, though, and wants to get on with it, but he can’t leave Fitz with Luke when he’s in this mood. He wouldn’t be able to relax.

He needs to do a bit of digging, but he can’t use his counsellor voice on Luke because when he was doing his training, Luke was his guinea pig. He probably knows as much about counselling as Dan does. He’d dutifully made up scenarios (I think I’m related to Darth Vader; I’ve been abducted by aliens) and let Dan practise on him for hours. Dan, in turn, had been there for Luke when he was doing his teacher training.

Dan realizes they don’t talk like they used to, and he’s missed his cousin, even though he’s sitting next to him and sees him almost every day. He wants to be able to share Atticus with him, but talking about it might make it real and Dan doesn’t want to wake up yet, so he has told Luke he’s going away on a weekend course for work. The lie tastes sour on his tongue and he sees Atticus in his mind, shaking his head sadly. Denied. Closeted. He pictures him wedged in Dan’s wardrobe.