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Chapters (68)
  1. Title page
  2. Dedication
  3. Part I
  4. One
  5. Two
  6. Three
  7. Four
  8. Five
  9. Six
  10. Seven
  11. Eight
  12. Nine
  13. Ten
  14. Eleven
  15. Twelve
  16. Thirteen
  17. Fourteen
  18. Fifteen
  19. Sixteen
  20. Seventeen
  21. Eighteen
  22. Nineteen
  23. Twenty
  24. Twenty-one
  25. Twenty-two
  26. Twenty-three
  27. Twenty-four
  28. Twenty-five
  29. GAIA YOUNG. SUBJECTIVE IMPRESSIONS.MISSION DAY 20. 20:25 MT.
  30. Part II
  31. Twenty-six
  32. Twenty-seven
  33. Twenty-eight
  34. Twenty-nine
  35. Thirty
  36. Thirty-one
  37. Thirty-two
  38. Thirty-three
  39. Thirty-four
  40. Thirty-five
  41. Thirty-six
  42. Thirty-seven
  43. GAIA YOUNG. SUBJECTIVE IMPRESSIONS.MISSION DAY 22. 20:05 MT.
  44. Thirty-eight
  45. Thirty-nine
  46. Forty
  47. Forty-one
  48. GAIA YOUNG. SUBJECTIVE IMPRESSIONS.MISSION DAY 25. 15:30 MT.
  49. Forty-two
  50. Forty-three
  51. Forty-four
  52. Forty-five
  53. Forty-six
  54. Forty-seven
  55. Forty-eight
  56. Forty-nine
  57. Fifty
  58. Fifty-one
  59. Fifty-two
  60. Fifty-three
  61. Fifty-four
  62. Part III
  63. Fifty-five
  64. Fifty-six
  65. Fifty-seven
  66. Fifty-eight
  67. Also by Chris Beckett
  68. Copyright page

At last we’d reached the trees, the small trees that grew at the edge of the snow, casting their light over it, white and pink and blue, and making it glitter. We pulled off our headwraps and bodywraps, and our wet wet footwraps, and with our feet and shoulders bare again, we followed a little stream, already shining with waterweed, that was carrying cold water from the melting ice. Hmmmph hmmmph hmmmph went the trees all round us, as we walked in the light of their lanterns. There were already bigger trees ahead of us.

‘There’s a monkey,’ said Fox, too tired to be excited, but just interested enough to speak.

We watched it spinning and whirling and wheeling through the warm trees, grabbing branches with whichever of its six hands happened to be in the right place, like it had no sense of which part of it was up and which down, and any way round was fine. Davidson put an arrow on his bow, but it was gone before he’d had a chance to aim.

Twenty-two

You’re still trying too hard, Angie,’ said Mary, holding onto my hands but not moving to hug me as she’d done the first time. ‘You’re still expecting too much. Our Mother doesn’t shout. She doesn’t wave her arms to get your attention. You need to have trust. You need to trust her, and trust yourself. But that’s enough for this waking. Some people have asked me to do a little show, so we’ll do that now, and then rest and sleep, and then you can come back to the Circle again.’

I noticed she didn’t tell me not to worry this time, or reassure me that I’d be fine. And I noticed that I didn’t tell her anything about how for a moment there, I’d doubted whether any of this was true. How could I? Mary heard Gela’s voice every waking, she cried for Gela in every show, she begged and pleaded and raged for Gela’s sake. How could I possibly tell her that, even just for a heartbeat, I’d doubted that voice was real?

We went and did the show. It was in a tiny cluster in forest about two miles out from Old Family and less than twenty people came, but Mary did one of the best shows I’d seen, sobbing, raging, pouring with tears and sweat, with the fug all round and a bunch of frightened low people watching us with their mouths open, and tears and sweat running down their own faces.

‘Gela loves you,’ she cried out. ‘Gela wants to help you more than anything else in the world. But what do you do in return? How do you show your gratitude? You steal from one another! You hold back from the guards the handovers you owe them for keeping you safe! You think bad thoughts!’