‘Yes. I want him gone, but he won’t move out,’ I answer, almost sobbing at the thought. I’ve been managing to suppress all thoughts of Ian for the last day or so, but now they burst to the surface with renewed pain. I take another gulp of the sweet sherry. It must be going to my head because I start to feel slightly woozy. The doctor’s black eyebrows seem to be zooming in and out of focus. I shake my head in an effort to see clearly.

‘Is he worth anything?’

‘What do you mean?’ I have to concentrate really hard to answer. ‘Financially he’s not worth a penny, but that never bothered me.’

‘No, is he worth anything as a person? If he were to die today, would anybody miss him? Would he leave a hole in this world?’

I feel I should be shocked at such a terrible question, but I’m not. I’m struggling for an answer when the doctor speaks again: ‘If he is of no value, he’s taking up unnecessary space. You have to find a way to rid yourself of him.’ He downs the rest of his brandy and smiles.

The session with the doctor has left me feeling completely disorientated. After his initial comments I just wanted to get out of there, but as I sipped my sherry and listened to him talk, I found myself mesmerised by the deep, rasping tone of his voice, although I am embarrassed to find myself unable to remember much of what he said.

Thea was waiting outside the door when I left. ‘Was that helpful, dear?’

‘I don’t know,’ I said, trying to be honest. ‘It’s left me feeling a bit disturbed about who I am and where I’m going, but more convinced than ever that Ian needs to somehow be eradicated from my life. I just don’t know how.’

Thea’s eyes glowed. ‘You’ll work it out. The doctor’s so clever, isn’t he?’

I’m not sure what to think. I don’t feel capable of coherent thought, and everything seems muddy and confused. I need to get some direction back into my life, and I don’t believe I’ll be able to do that while I’m staying here, lulled into a false sense of security. For all its beauty and comfort, there is something oppressive about this house, and when I go back upstairs after my session with the doctor, I force myself to think. My mind keeps wandering, so I grab a pen and paper to capture any constructive ideas I have.