My head is aching and I feel vaguely as if I have a hangover, but I only had a single glass of wine with the soup that Thea brought me. I don’t know if that was yesterday or the day before, but I know I’m in her cellar. Why is this other woman here? Now that I’m used to her presence she no longer seems threatening.

‘Do you have any paracetamol?’ I ask.

She furrows her brow and shakes her head as if I’ve said something ridiculous.

‘If you have a headache, this will make you feel better,’ she says, trying to force the cup into my hands.

I ignore her and rub my eyes. They feel sticky, gummy, and I wonder how long I slept. The horror of the last twenty-four hours comes racing towards me again, out of nowhere, threatening to knock me down. I gasp out loud. Will it always be like this – thoughts of what I have done retreating into a background ache, only to gather steam to punch me in the gut again?

‘Are you okay?’ the woman asks.

I don’t know what to say to her. How can I tell her that I’ve killed someone but don’t remember anything about it? I shake my head.

‘Thea said you’d be confused. That’s why you have to drink this. I have to go in a minute. I’ve got to finish the ironing. Please take the cup. I’ve got to stay until it’s all gone, and I’m going to be late if you don’t hurry. We all have to drink our tea and eat our food. It’s one of the rules.’

I have no idea what she’s talking about, but she looks concerned and I know I’m being obstinate, so I hold out my hand. The hot sweet liquid tastes good, and I don’t know why I was being so difficult. The slight nausea abates, and I feel the panic attack that was about to engulf me retreat as my breathing slows.

‘Thea says you don’t have to do anything right now, so you can stay in here. There’s a bathroom across the hall, but if you hear the buzzer you have to come straight back here and close the door until it sounds again.’

I barely take in what she’s saying, but there is something slightly vacant in her expression and I don’t know what she means about the buzzer. I’m sure if I can find Thea she will tell me what’s going on and how long she thinks I need to stay here. But then it hits me. If I don’t stay here, where will I go? To the police – to prison?