The only word I can think of to describe my cabin on board the riverboat is sumptuous. The rich-coloured cushions and dark wooden furniture add to the sense that I’m now inhabiting a different world – and I’m glad of it. I walk out onto the small balcony and breathe in the humid air, thick with the musty smell of the river as we head upstream, listening to the strange sounds of a foreign country: the shouts of children playing in the muddy brown water and the chanting of Buddhists as we pass spectacular temples apparently situated in the middle of nowhere.

I can already feel the tension ebbing slightly, the tightness in my chest and shortness of breath slackening. I move back inside, closing the sliding glass door to keep the mosquitoes at bay, and sit down to apply some make-up before dinner. I look at my pale face in the mirror, the dark circles under my eyes, and rest my chin in upturned palms, wondering how best to add some colour to my cheeks.

My laptop is charging on the dressing table in front of me, and I am about to move it out of the way when it pings to tell me there’s an email. The Wi-Fi signal is intermittent, as it depends where we are on the river, so clearly we’re in a good position right now.

I glance at the screen and my heart plummets. The email is from Ian. I don’t know whether to open it or not, and I am furious that my hand shakes as I reach forward to touch the trackpad.

He’s failed to get a response to his texts – I deleted them all, and couldn’t have answered even if I had wanted to – so now he is resorting to email.

The subject line might seem innocuous to anybody else – ‘I will be waiting when you come home’ – but it chills me. I don’t want to open the email, but if I don’t its malevolent presence will haunt me.

The tone has changed. He’s no longer ranting about what a bitch I am. He knows, I’m sure, that while his insults may shock they are easy to deflect.

I know I’ve been angry with you, but I’ve decided I’m prepared to forgive you. It has taken a lot of soul-searching on my part, but I understand you were upset. Deep down, you know you need me – and what will you do if I go? Remember how difficult it was for us to find each other. Do you really want to be alone for the rest of your life? I don’t think so.