“If we were married, would you ask me to stop?”

“Ans! I want you to stop no matter what! Don’t you understand that?”

“I’m not sure I can make that promise.”

He released her hands and turned away as if battling his anger. When it was under control, he turned back. “Ans, I’m begging you. If you love me at all —”

“Why not quit the police, Erik, and be an onderduiker? I know people who could help you hide.”

“And I know how hard the Nazis are working to find all the onderduikers.” They had reached an impasse. Neither one was willing to concede. “Will you at least think about getting married, Ans? I want to be together.”

“So do I, but I’ll need a little more time. My parents should be there . . . they’ve never even met you.” In fact, Ans had never told them about Erik. She wasn’t sure if her reluctance had more to do with Erik’s lack of faith or his involvement with the Nazis. Probably both. “You know how much I long to be with you —”

“Then let’s do it. Please, Ans.”

She saw a woman hurrying down the street who reminded her of her contact, and she suddenly remembered why Erik had come looking for her in the first place. How many other members of her underground cell were helping the people in that apartment? She couldn’t think about marriage right now. She needed to warn everyone about the Gestapo raid.

“I promise I’ll think about it, Erik. I should go now.”

“Come back to my apartment with me.”

“I can’t. I’m sorry. I need to tell Eloise I’ve missed my train.” They kissed cheeks again, and Ans rushed away. The underground had a system in place for emergencies like this one. Ans had never used it, but she needed to now. She headed for the busy café on Rapenburg near the university where urgent messages could be left.

“May I use your toilet?” she asked one of the waitresses. The girl pointed to the back. A map of Leiden was tacked to the wall inside the tiny cubicle. There was an envelope with pins and tiny pieces of paper tucked beneath the edge of the commode. She removed one of the pieces of paper and wrote her code name: Voorn —the minnow —and 3:00 p.m. They’d told her the map would be checked several times a day so she could arrange a meeting. Ans pinned the note to the Pieterskerk, a short walk from the town house. Then she flushed the toilet and left.

“I missed the train to Zoeterwoude,” she told Eloise when she returned home. “Our travels this afternoon will have to be canceled too.” She offered no other explanation, deciding not to say anything about the Gestapo raid until after her meeting with Havik.