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Chapters (64)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Epilogue
  64. Acknowledgements

The Girl is giving me an identity crisis. ‘For the first time in new media, The Know will not dictate trends or styles to its reader. The Know Girl herself will lead the way.’ This statement is made at the very start of the Brand Bible, which proceeds to tell me all the ways in which I, the 26-year-old key reader, am doing it wrong. This is why my list of features ideas now reads like a cry for help.

I’m not The Girl. I don’t think I even know any Girls. She’s an insane riddle of an imaginary young woman, who takes drugs, but never talks about them, who buys rare vinyl but listens to everything on Spotify, who makes her own packed lunches yet has a mysterious amount of money to spend on clothes, who has a sex life that would make Cardi B blush, who lives in Margate, and Berlin, and up a tree, simultaneously. ‘Her first is in hipster, but never in “hip”…’ The only thing I’m sure about is that this Girl has never, ever had to go to the toilet at work and put half a wadded loo roll into the bowl in order to muffle the splash of an unexpected poo.

I wonder how widely The Know will be read in Devon. It seems strange to think of my old school friends setting the tone. I imagine Akila rushing in, saying ‘OK, we need more content about embellished Ted Baker dresses, how to find jobs that come with company cars, and the case for lobbying the government to get them to bring back Jello shot night at Club Rococo.’

I’m sighing and deleting the word ‘lonely’ just as a living, breathing embodiment of The Girl walks through the door.

‘Are you The Know?’

‘They’re in a meeting…’ I mutter lamely. ‘I’m Imogen.’

Standing, smiling, I stretch out my forearm and extend my right hand—which she ignores as she walks past me, and takes the seat farthest from mine.

I try again.

‘So, I’m a staff writer, I think mostly features but Harri said we’d all be mucking in on everything, at the beginning…you?’

‘I’m Tabitha. In fashion?’ The inflection at the end of her sentence does not indicate her own uncertainty—just her outrage that I had to ask.