Harri smiles at Akila, and I see the chemistry between them. Game recognising game. ‘We’re thrilled to have Akila at The Know, we’re incredibly fortunate to be able to hire her. It’s not just that her level of experience is so impressive—but she’s a real future thinker. I’ve worked with her before on a few campaigns and this woman, well.’ Harri grins again. ‘This isn’t a battle, exactly, but she’s going to lead us to victory.’

Sperm-eyebrows clears her throat. ‘I’m Lily, I’ll be interim assistant editor, and I’ll be job sharing with Katie, here. We work across several titles at Hudson, we’re going to be here for a few months assessing the viability of the title, ensuring all editorial decisions are consistent within the overall Hudson brand and reach the right audience, and crucially keeping costs down.’

Katie with the Bad Hair cuts in. ‘We’re going to be working closely with Mackenzie Whittaker, the new editor-in-chief at Panache and directing editor across all titles. Mackenzie is joining us from New York. She’s flying in later this week. We’re really lucky—her background is corporate, and she’s very financially savvy. Our new investors recommended her specifically, she’s going to be getting Hudson back on track. So we’ll be supporting her, closely monitoring your budget. But it’s not all doom and gloom!’ Katie’s laugh sounds like dial up internet. ‘We know that we’ve got a young team, and a productive workspace is a fun workspace. So we bought you these signs!’ She gestures to CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY. ‘Actually, Harri, that reminds me, I’ve got the receipts, you need to sign them so I can get the reimbursements from Petty Cash.’

The office feels even smaller, stuffier. Louise looks at her feet. Akila looks at the patch of wall where a less sadistic architect would have placed a window. I’m certain that, for the briefest fraction of a moment, Harri looks at Katie with unfiltered, unconcealed hatred. But she shakes the look off her face—before it has a second to settle, she’s blank as a brand new Etch A Sketch.

Harri adds, ‘On the cash front, I have some great news. I’m in the process of securing some sponsorship for our launch with a new mobile viewing platform. Louise, we need to have a chat about some entertainment content. I think the big boardroom is free, shall we all go up and talk ideas? In fact, Lily, it would be really good to go over the proposed numbers with you, this should leave us with much more space in our budget.’

Everyone else seems to be gathering bags and jackets, preparing to move, so I stand up, a little too quickly. My chair makes a rumbling noise. ‘No, not you,’ says Lily. ‘Just the other girl. You’re not necessary for this.’